Neil Strauss

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One of the most common questions I’ve
gotten about the book came out is, “Will
you go for coffee with me if I promise
not to ask you too much about pickup?”

The second most common question is,
“What the fuck is a C-shaped smile?”

They’re referring to a routine I came up
with, which Papa used to help land Paris
Hilton’s phone number in The Game.

The shape refers not to the lips or mouth
but to the teeth.

A C-shaped smile is one in which someone’s
row of upper teeth are shaped like a C.
It’s a wide smile, with many teeth showing
in the front.

This is the classic smile you see on the
cover of People magazine. It’s said to be
perceived as a friendlier, warmer smile.

Britney Spears has one:

http://www.neilstrauss.com/smiles/britney.jpg

Now a U-shaped smile is one in which just
two or three teeth are seen in the front,
then the teeth run straight back. It’s
somewhat reminiscent of a horse’s mouth.

It’s said to be perceived as unfriendly.

No offense to anyone who has a U-shaped smile,
because I think the theory is horseshit and
say so when I present it.

However, many celebrities it turns out have
had their teeth actually reshaped surgically
to a C. One of them I even wrote a book with.

Christina Aguilera didn’t have that surgery.
She has classic U-Shaped Smile where the teeth
show mostly along the sides of the mouth rather
than in the front (She also has a better voice
than Britney Spears, so there is some consolation):

http://www.neilstrauss.com/smiles/christina.jpg

Finally, here, in its entirety, is the C’s
versus U’s routine. It’s a true story about
one of the women I dated during my pick up
days. The relationship lasted a week. You’ll
see why below.

Use at your own risk to spice up a conversation
that’s going stale:

Style: Smile again for me.

Woman: Um, okay.

Style (to wing): See, she’s a U.

Woman: (look of puzzlement)

Style: I dated a girl who wanted to be a
pop star. And she had a theory that people
with U-shaped smiles were perceived as
unfriendly.  And people with C-shaped smiles
were perceived as friendly.

Woman: So what’s a U then?

Style: A U is when your teeth go straight
back in your mouth and only a few teeth show
in front. A C is when there’s a big row of
pearly whites in the front.

Woman: Um, okay.

Style: I know. I don’t really believe it,
but to my ex, it was more than a theory. She
actually got her teeth surgically reshaped
from a U to a C. She had to get her jaw broken
in three places. Can you believe it?

Woman: Ewwww. That’s crazy.

Style: And she had me go look at pictures
of like Christina Aguilera, who is a U, and
Britney Spears, who is a C. And she said that’s
why Christina is always seen as the bad girl
while Britney’s usually seen as the good one.
Look at the cover of “US” or any magazine,
and you’ll see that it’s always a C smile
on the cover.

(Note: In light of current events, you may
want to change the Britney Spears example
of a friendly C to Jessica Simpson.)

From here, you two can inspect the teeth of
her friends or of random strangers looking
for the perfect C or U.

If you want to drag it out, here’s a little
joke courtesy of a PUA from The Game named
Nightlight9.

Nightlight9: She was from LA, and you have to
be careful with them. Whenever you go out with
girls in LA, everything can be really fake.
Fake hair (point to your head), fake eyes
(point to eyes), fake nose (point to nose), fake
teeth (point to teeth), fake breasts (cup your
breasts). You have to take them to the doctor
first to find out which parts are real. They
put them through a machine, and you get a long
print-out at the end. Then you can decide whether
you want to date them or not.

Lisa still hasn’t forgiven me for saying she had
a U-shaped smile.  :-)

Anyway, use and enjoy. And if you’re a woman
reading this, of course it would never work
on you.

Yours,

Neil

8491 Sunset Blvd #348
West Hollywood, CA 90069

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The top eleven list is just below.

But, first, to wrap things up from the last email, yes, as
predicted, things got a little crazy.

Your paperback copies of the new version of Rules of the Game have
been arriving fast and furious, and the guy at the PO Box is very
upset with me. But thank you: for the amazing notes almost every
one of you included with your books. I tried, when possible, to
address something in your note in the inscription.

So in response to your notes, I wanted to send you a quick note to
share something I wrote recently, when I was asked to put together
a list of ten lessons I’ve learned while studying and teaching
the game.

I think the following may be useful to many of you doing the
Stylelife Challenge or otherwise learning this stuff, and may cut
down some of your learning time. For those of you who’ve only read
Emergency, this may be a little less useful. Though it is most
certainly a survival skill.

Some of these ideas we’ve discussed before. Some we haven’t. So
here they are, plus one extra lesson I just added just now.

ELEVEN PICK UP EPIPHANIES

1. What you look like doesn’t matter. But how you present yourself
does.

2. Nobody is judging you. They’re too busy worrying about what you
think of them. So instead of seeking her approval, give her yours.
Then take it away. Then give it to her again. This is called
flirting.

3. Women do actually like nice guys. They just don’t like weak
guys. So you can still be nice. But you must also be confident–in
yourself, your opinions, and your worthiness and value in the
world. In order for a woman to be with you, she needs to feel safe
with you.

4. It’s not enough to just be yourself. You must be your best self.

5. There’s a thin but important line between being horny and being
sexual. A horny man hits on a woman before she’s attracted to him.
A sexual man waits until she’s attracted to him.

6. Just because you’re interacting doesn’t mean you’re attracting.
Learn to recognize the difference between politeness and interest.

7. To win the heart of a woman, you often have to be willing to
risk losing her.

8. When a girl who you went on a date with in the past and who
suddenly disappeared on you calls out of the blue, it generally
means one thing - so call back right away before she finds someone
else to be with that night.

9. Always call a woman the day after sleeping with her and make her
feel good about having let go with you–even if you don’t want to
see her again or she doesn’t want to see you again. Don’t ruin her
for other guys.

10. Don’t look to your friends or family for approval as you learn
the game. They may like you just the way you are, but not always
for the right reasons. With some “friends,” this is because when
you start looking better, feeling more confident, and succeeding
more than they do, you often end up reminding them of their own
inadequacies and lack of growth.

11. Finally, to quote the wisdom of Canadian hockey player Wayne
Gretzky, “You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take.” So
simply by approaching a woman and saying something, no matter how
badly you may bumble, you’ve dramatically increased your odds of
being with her.

Hope this is helpful to some of you.

Talk Soon,
Neil

PS On an unrelated note, someone recently sent me a link to a
series of experiments that provide further evidence of the concept
of social proof we often discuss:

Evidently, a team of scientists exposed female mice to odors of
either a male mouse alone or a male mouse with a female. And the
females consistently preferred the scent of males linked to other
females. “Our data suggest that female mice may use, or even copy,
the interests of other females based on olfactory cues,” said one
of the scientists. “It could also be seen as a female trusting the
mate choice of another female.”

So, obviously, the message is, rub a female mouse on you before
going out. It’ll work. Science has proven it.

P.P.S. For those of you who now have the Routines Collection, let
me know your favorites and which are working best for you! Especially
regarding the more advanced, late-game ones I haven’t shared before.
I always appreciate hearing any tweaks and modifications you guys
come up with…

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I want to share with you one of the biggest lessons I
learned in the last month.

It’s something I’ve been trying to figure out since
I first started teaching workshops, and noticing
that some people excelled while others got nowhere
– even though they were both putting in the same
amount of work.

There was a piece missing that no one was teaching.
Here’s how I found it:

A PUA I’d met on my last book tour did a massive
favor for me. He’s a sweet, good-hearted guy who
has been in the community for years, knows every
routine (even listens to them over and over on his
iPod), goes out sarging nearly every night, and yet
is still a virgin.

So in exchange for all the heroic work he’d done, I
flew him to Los Angeles for a weekend to examine
his game and find his Achille’s Heel.

I eventually found it, and it turned out to be such
an epiphany that I made it one of the assignments
at the Stylelife Academy (http://www.stylelife.com).

************
Here is the key distinction:

The guy who fails at the game is the one who
goes out looking for women to make him
feel good about himself.

The guy who succeeds at the game is the one
who goes out and makes other people feel good
about themselves.
************

This first type of guy, no one wants to be around.
He is needy. He is insecure. He is reaction-seeking.
He will suck your energy dry in his selfish quest for
your validation and approval.

This second type of guy is easy to be with. He radiates
charisma and positive energy. You enjoy his company,
as do your friends, and you want him around all the
time. You trust him, feel comfortable with him, end
up at his house at 5 a.m. wondering where all that
time went.

Both guys do and say the exact same things but get
a very different reaction from women because of the
intent they are communicating.

WAIT a minute, you may say: What about negs? Their
use seems to contradict this idea of making people feel
good about themselves.

Think again.

When you give a woman who’s often hit on a generic
compliment, she will usually either ignore the remark
or assume you’re saying it because you want to sleep
with her.

When you tease her and show her that you’re
unaffected by her beauty and demonstrate that you’re
out of her league - and THEN let her work to win
you over and ultimately REWARD her with your
approval, she will leave that night feeling good about
herself. Like something special happened and she
connected with somebody who appreciates her for
who she REALLY is.

In short, a neg will buy you the credibility you need
to sincerely compliment her later.

That said, I don’t necessarily advocate negs; they
are in many ways a temporary patch to stick onto
your personality while you learn to possess real
confidence and strength of character.

So, to drive this all home, here’s an assignment
I gave the guys in the Stylelife Challenge: Your
mission this week is to make five people feel better
about themselves - with no thought as to how you
come across in the process.

This can include anything from telling a parent
how much you appreciate them; to making an awkward
guest at a party feel wanted and included; to telling
a person who just blew a lot of money on a car/outfit/
haircut how cool it looks; to giving a homeless person
eye contact, smiling, and handing them five dollars.
Start developing an instinct for what someone needs
to feel good about themselves and their choices, and
stop worrying about what they think of you.

Pretty soon, it’ll become a habit, and you’ll be a social
magnet forced to sign up for Half Your Dating seminars
to stop your cell phone from ringing all the time.

In Your Corner,
Style

P.S. Did I mention how charismatic you look today? And I love
that thing you did just now. Keep it up!

P.P.S. After spending the weekend in L.A. and discussing
the ideas above, the PUA with the former Achille’s Heel sent
me the following email: “The other night, it was my 26th
birthday. I was chatting up a four-set using the positive
ideas we’d discussed, and one of them started groping me.
Next thing you know, hardcore tonguedown makeout.
First time ever - yay!”

P.P.P.S. The Stylelife Academy can be found at:

http://www.stylelife.com

P.P.P.P.S. Yes, it was this email that inspired Day 16 of the
Stylelife Challenge book in Rules Of The Game.

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