Neil Strauss

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So…this weekend, the Igniter committee and I spent Saturday at a steakhouse with everyone’s favorite mobster and coffee scammer, poring over more than 200 sample chapters for the book we plan on publishing next year.

In a strange coincidence, at the table next to us, there was a group of writing - contest judges. No joke. They were judging entries for a contest at the Los Angeles Times Festival of Books. So they pitched in and helped.

Your entries were impressive, and made me so glad we took a chance trying you all out. In the last email, I hedged my bets by saying I couldn’t promise that anyone on this mailing list would become the co-writer of the book.  But now, I feel confident saying that I’m certain that one of you will be writing this book.

To that end, I’ve compiled the top three submissions, as graded and voted on by the committee (and guest judges). One of the writers is an electrician; another is a professional gambler; and a third is an unemployed computer engineer. I was amazed to discover how little professional writing experience the best writers actually had.

You can judge the top three entries for yourself here:

http://www.neilstrauss.com/writerhunt.pdf
(right-click to download)

And, as long as you’re reading these, why not join the judging committee? It would be great to get your vote and feedback. You may note, as we did, that some of you actually figured out who the mobster was and did original
research. That said, what we looked for when judging these was not research skills or mob knowledge, but compelling prose and the ability to SHOW rather than tell.

Let us know which of your fellow VIP list members above you feel should be writing this book. In other words, which submission do YOU enjoy reading the most.

You can vote for your favorite here:

http://cs.createsurvey.com/c/01/4201/survey/5682-4Xp4yB.html

Reading your submissions has truly been one of the most educational experiences of my writing life. Most of you really put a lot of heart and effort into what you wrote. And I’d urge you to do continue to do this with everything in your lives. Remember, the no’s don’t matter. It only takes one “yes” to launch your career, and your life, in a whole new direction.

After all, George Orwell didn’t give up when told it was “impossible to sell animal stories in the USA” by a publisher who rejected Animal Farm, Stephen King didn’t decide to stick to teaching when he was told that his types of books “do not sell” when trying to find a publisher for his first novel, and the Beatles didn’t break up when Decca Records rejected them, saying that “guitar groups are on the way out.”

So, whatever you’re doing, stick with it. As we already discussed here in one of the emails about Emergency and the economic crisis, if you follow the money, you can lose the money and then you’ll have nothing. If you follow your bliss -your passion in life - the money can come and go, but no one will be able to take away your happiness and your excitement for what you’re doing.

Great work, and looking forward to your votes and feedback on the submissions above. Some important messages about the preparation and survival of Emergency and the female attention to The Game are coming up in the next few emails.

Returning to Our Regularly Scheduled Programming,
Neil

P.S. The links again for the submissions and voting are:

http://www.neilstrauss.com/writerhunt.pdf

and

http://cs.createsurvey.com/c/01/4201/survey/5682-4Xp4yB.html

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Yesterday, I told you I was looking to give one of you the chance to write a book, specifically the memoir of one of the most interesting and famous modern-day mob figures I’ve ever met.

I want to remind you again that this is for real. If you are selected, your book will be printed and distributed by
the same company that puts out my books and compensated like any other co-writer. To all of you who have emailed over the years asking me how to break into the notoriously finicky publishing world, here’s your answer.

So, anyway, here’s how this is going to go down:

I recorded one of the not-yet-announced book subject’s stories,
which you’ll find at:

http://www.neilstrauss.com/barley.mp3
(right-click to download - it’s 16mb so may take a little while)

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to turn his words into a sample chapter for the book. You have ten days - until Friday, April 24th at noon Pacific Standard Time (that’s
3p.m. EST) - to submit the chapter. Make sure you send your submission to IgniterGroup@gmail.com so the entire editorial staff can read it.
   
Yesterday, I said that I preferred that the writer be in Los Angeles. However, there were so many great responses from around the world, that we’re opening up the search to you, wherever you may live, as long as you have the time this year to dedicate to this.

Here are ten short tips to help you knock this out of the park:

1.    All submissions must be double-spaced and emailed as an attached file, preferably a Microsoft Word document.

2.    Make sure you include your name, email, and phone number not just in the email, but ALSO at the top of your sample chapter.

3.    There is no length requirement. The chapter may be as short or as long as you feel is necessary.

4.    Make sure you write the chapter in the first-person, i.e. from the perspective of the mobster who’s telling the story. Since his name has not been provided, you may use the first name “John” if you need to use it elsewhere in the story.

5.    It may make it easier to write the chapter if you start by transcribing the recording of the story.

6.    The last sentence in his story gets cut off.  In case you choose to use it, after he says he should have called 911, I asked him why he didn’t. His answer: “Because I know they tape record 911.  And I don’t want my voice on that fucking thing.” (No, this will not be a feel-good story for children and Sunday school teachers.)

7.    You don’t have to use all of the information in the recording: feel free to include and leave out any parts of the story. The goal is simply to write a compelling narrative.

8.    If this is your first time writing something like this, you may want to read an autobiography written by myself, Anthony Bozza, or someone else to get a feel for the genre and style.

9.    You don’t have to transcribe the subject’s words exactly. Your goal is to write how they would write IF they were a writer.

10.    Please note that this is not a contest. It is simply a search for writers. The writers of the three most compelling submissions (as determined by Igniter staff and the mobster) will be contacted, and a meeting will be arranged. And, no, it won’t be the kind of meeting where you’ll be made an offer you can’t refuse.

Although it is our hope and intention to select one of the three top applicants to write this book, Igniter, myself, and the subject are under no obligation to use anyone submitting material as a writer.  So, that said, make your submissions great. Because the whole goal of this is to give someone new a shot and a voice, rather than relying on the same writers who always get used for these types of projects. In short, we WANT to help groom YOUR talent.

I believe that’s it.  So download the file at the link below, and let’s see some great writing:

http://www.neilstrauss.com/barley.mp3

Looking forward to reading your words.
   
Best,
Neil Strauss

P.S. The following may sound extreme, but the reason I’m writing it is because I was told to by bigshot publishing lawyers, who realize that many of the submissions may be similar because they’re based on the same story, so they want to avoid problems down the line. Thus, without further ado, the DISCLAIMER: All submissions to
be the cowriter of this book shall be deemed by Igniter Literary Group to be, and shall remain, the property of Igniter Literary Group. Igniter shall not be liable for any use, distribution, or disclosure of any submission or be under any other obligation. Without limiting the foregoing, Igniter shall be entitled to unrestricted use of the submission for any purpose whatsoever, commercial or otherwise, without compensation to the provider of the submission. In fact, we may even make the three top submissions available online, so that those of you on this list
can vote for your favorite.

P.P.S.  With the next email, we will resume our regularly scheduled programming on this list.

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I’ve got something VERY cool to announce for you today. But before we begin, a couple quick announcements: If you live around ATLANTA, PORTLAND,

MIAMI, or LOS ANGELES areas, make sure you check out the book tour dates in the PS at the bottom of this email. Also, if you haven’t read EMERGENCY yet, make sure you start reading it before next week’s email. I have a surprising issue that’s come up I’d like your opinion on.  In the meantime, Emergency just hit its fourth week on the New York Times bestseller list, thanks in part to many of you, so here’s a little reward today to celebrate and to thank you.

———————————————————–
DO YOU WANT TO WRITE A BOOK WITH ME?
———————————————————–

I’m very serious. This is not a marketing, promotional, or publicity stunt. This is a chance for one of you to get theopportunity to write a book that will be published as a joint venture between Igniter and HarperCollins.

What’s Igniter? Igniter, for those who don’t know yet, is the publishing company I started with fellow Rolling Stone writer and rock biographer Anthony Bozza.

The reason we started it was because we noticed a lot of talented writers with amazing stories who weren’t able to even get one foot in the door of the publishing industry. For us, it was easier, because we’d spent many years scrawling magazine articles. But for those who don’t yet have “social proof,” to use an expression from The Game, it can be nearly impossible to find an agent, let alone a publisher.

So, to help rectify that, we’re looking for one of you to write a book for us. But not just any book. It’s a very specific book. It’s
also a very secret book that hasn’t yet been announced.

Much like I co-wrote books for Marilyn Manson and Motley Crue and like Anthony co-wrote books for Slash and Artie Lange, we are looking for a NEW talent and a FRESH voice who wants to co-write a book for a legendary, infamous modern mob figure, whose roots begin at Al Capone and Jimmy Hoffa and extend all the way to Paris Hilton and even Bikram.

So take just a day to think about this. Decide if this is something you really want to do. You’re going to need a fair amount of time over the next six months to interview, get to know, and write about this extraordinary character. 

You’re also going to want to spend at least part of the next three months in Los Angeles hanging out with him, which should be a fun, possibly exhausting experience. You’re also going to need to be an incredible writer. How does this sound to you? Are you prepared to get inside someone’s head and write a fascinating, interesting, page-turning
book in their voice, organizing all their stories, thoughts, and modern mob wisdom into 400 double-spaced pages that tell a
complete, flawless story? If so, then stay close to your computer tomorrow, and I’ll tell you exactly what you need to do in order to get a shot at writing
this book.

In the meantime, Emergency book tour dates are below.

Looking Forward to Tomorrow,
Neil

PS Here’s where you’ll find me this week signing books, telling tales, answering questions, and teaching general delinquency. For real. You will leave knowing how to pick combination locks and escape from handcuffs in seconds flat. Unless you’re coming to get The Game signed, in which case you’ll learn how to get people INTO handcuffs

ATLANTA
Tuesday, April 14 at 7:00 PM
BARNES & NOBLE
2900 Peachtree Rd NE
Atlanta, GA 30305
(404) 261-7747

MIAMI
Wednesday, April 15 at 7:00 PM
BARNES & NOBLE
12405 N. Kendall Drive
Miami, FL 33186
Phone: (305) 598-7727

LOS ANGELES
Thursday, April 16, 2009 at 7:00 PM
BORDERS BOOKS AND MUSIC
1360 Westwood Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90024
Phone: 310-475-3444

PORTLAND
Friday, April 17, 2009 at 6:30 PM
BORDERS
708 SW Third
Portland, OR 97204
Phone: 503-220-5911

Hope to meet you on the road…

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Glasgow Signing at Waterstone’s Cancelled

  TONIGHT So sorry to say, that NEIL’S Book signing is cancelled in Glasgow.  Some of you have been posting this on other boards, so thanks very much for your understanding, and your help. Cheers, 99

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I’ll be quick, since I’m writing this from the Washington, D.C.,
airport, where I’m on my way back to L.A. for the book release
signing, reading, party, and wolf-a-thon tonight.

In short, your “network building” emails were perfect. This is a
much more reasonable number for a Book Club where we can all get to
speak and interact. And it’s cool how many of you picked up copies
of EMERGENCY for friends and family members.

So here’s the plan:

If you bought a copy for yourself AND a copy for a friend or family
member, go to this website:

http://www.neilstrauss.com/saveyourfriends

Make sure you have a copy of the book in front of you and your
receipt or order confirmation. Then input your information and,
once your details have been verified, you’ll receive an email with
information about the Emergency Book Club, which begins next week.

Please note that the Emergency Book Club is limited to only a few
hundred people, so make sure you input your information right
away–or get to a bookstore today or tomorrow and grab your copies
of the book.

Just in case the Book Club doesn’t work with your schedule, or you
miss a few calls, I also put together a bunch of other really cool
and rare things to keep you learning, improving, and excited:

The “truancy” reading rewards (which will be sent to all club
members) include:

-An interactive teleconference on new demonstrations of higher
value routines culled from the three years I spent researching
Emergency. You’ll also be able to ask me any question you have
about survival or about the game during this phone call.

-A rare audio interview I did with the Genius Network on The
Anatomy of Addictive Writing, in which I breaks down the secrets to
staying focused, telling compelling stories, achieving balance in
your life, and finding a flow state from which to create.

-My limited-run, out-of-circulation e-book How to Work the
Personals, which features the technique that was successful and
foolproof with nine out of ten women contacted online while
researching The Game. Hint: It’s shockingly bold, and defies all
common sense.

-And, most importantly, an invitation to read and discuss Emergency
with me for two months in the Emergency Book Club. It’ll be a
chance for you to go “behind the scenes” of the book, and pick my
brain. You’ll be able to share any thoughts you have on the book
and ask questions as you read.

The Book Club begins the week of March 22nd, so make sure you get
your Emergency for yourself and a friend or relative before then
from your local bookstore!

Like I said before, this is somewhat intimate, especially since
I’ve turned down all previous offers to speak to book clubs
reading my work, but let’s get on the phone and see what happens…

To New Experiences,
Neil

P.S. Here are the details for the remaining book readings,
signings, gladhanding, and Q&A sessions for EMERGENCY:

LOS ANGELES BOOK RELEASE PARTY
Friday, March 13th at 7:00 PM
H.Wood Club in the Hollywood and Highland Complex
1738 N. Orange
Los Angeles, CA 90028
310-659-3110 (Book Soup phone)

CHICAGO ***NEW LOCATION***
Thursday, March 19, 2009 at 7:00 PM
BORDERS BOOKS AND MUSIC
2817 N. Clark Street
Chicago, IL  60657
(773) 935-3909

SAN FRANCISCO
Wednesday, March 25, 2009 at 7:00 PM
BORDERS BOOKS & MUSIC
233 Winston Drive
San Francisco CA 94132
415-731-0665 



SAN DIEGO
Thursday, March 26, 2009 at 7:00 PM
BARNES & NOBLE
10775 Westview Parkway
San Diego, CA 92126
(858) 684-3166

DATES IN ENGLAND, SCOTLAND,
IRELAND, AUSTRALIA, AND
FRANCE COMING SOON…

P.P.S. To summarize:

1.    If you haven’t done so yet, you can read an excerpt of
the book at:
http://neilstrauss.com/EmergencyAdvance.pdf

2.    Buy a copy for yourself and one for a friend or family
member, preferably at a local brick-and-mortar bookstore so you
can get the book in time.

3.    Join the Emergency Book Club, receive my ebook on working
the personals, learn the secrets of writing, and get some cool
DHVs - all free for following the above step - at:

http://www.neilstrauss.com/saveyourfriends/

Looking forward to hearing your questions, comments, observations,
and experiences on the phone. Talk soon…

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First of all, an apology:

I meant to send you all an email yesterday reminding you of the
New York signing and the release of Emergency. Nonetheless, a few
hundred of you managed to make it anyway. It was a great time–and
you should have seen the look on the store manager’s face when we
handed out scissors and locks to teach you all lock-picking.

In keeping with the theme of EMERGENCY, you may have noticed
that, unlike my past books, I managed to convince the publisher
to print this one in paperback at a recession-friendly price. So
it was really cool - and true to the spirit of the book - that
some of you bought multiple copies for friends, wings, and family
members. Thank you.

Anyway, let’s discuss…The Emergency Book Club.

Your response to the idea was overwhelming. And by overwhelming, I
mean in the thousands.

The pure enthusiasm has definitely excited me more about doing
this. At the same time, it’s presented a new challenge: a phone
call with this many people would be complete anarchy.

I could create a discussion forum, as some of you suggested. But
let’s face it, the last thing any of us need is another forum to
suck up our online time. It’s also less personal than talking
together.

Fortunately, someone on this list coincidentally runs a book-club
service that enables a more organized group conversation. The bad
news is that it’s limited to only a few hundred people.

What I’m thinking of doing is letting anyone who bought a copy of
the book for themselves AND a copy for a friend or family member
into the Emergency Book Club. You’ll understand why you may want
someone else you’re close to to have this book once you read it,
since the idea of community is so important.

So I’m going to take one last survey: If you bought two copies of
the book (or more), email me again at manofstyle@gmail.com with
the subject heading NETWORK BUILDING. (You’ll understand
the significance of that phrase after you read the book also.)

I’ll take another head count. And if the numbers work out, the
Emergency Book Club is a go…

Best,
Neil

P.S. There is something called “noncompliance” in the book
industry, which is a bane to authors everywhere.

Noncompliance occurs when a new book arrives at a store, yet the
employees don’t unpack it or display it on the front tables. So a
big thank you to Mystic, who came up with a novel solution to the
problem.

He writes:

<<I just got into a lil debate with the Manager at Barnes and
Noble. I go there and can’t find the book ANYWHERE in the “new
releases” section. So I go up to the clerk and ask her, “Where is
Emergency?” And she says, “Let me check the back,” and comes back
out with a whole cart of Emergency books and says, “Oh we forgot to
put it out today…sorry for the misunderstanding.” I was thinking,
“WTF!!!..ahhhh,” and told her that they “should make sure new
releases are out for display because the first day of any release
means a lot to authors, publishing companies etc and it is
irresponsible that a major book store chain like Barnes and Noble
would make a mistake like that.” BUT I did get my book and am
about to start it in a few minutes, so it’s all good now.”>>

Mystic, you rule.

So if you have a free moment today, and want to do a little
“street team” reconnaissance, call your local bookstore and make
sure they’re complying. Or, better still, drop by. After all, it’s
a great place to do your Stylelife Challenge missions…

P.P.S. Here are the tour dates again. Please note that there has
been a change in the CHICAGO location:

WASHINGTON, DC
Thursday, March 12, 2009 at 6:30 p.m.
BORDERS BOOKS & MUSIC
1801 K Street, NW
Washington DC 20006
202-466-4999

LOS ANGELES BOOK RELEASE PARTY
Friday, March 13th at 7:00 PM
H.Wood Club in the Hollywood and Highland Complex
1738 N. Orange
Los Angeles, CA 90028
310-659-3110 (Book Soup phone)

CHICAGO ***NEW LOCATION***
Thursday, March 19, 2009 at 7:00 PM
BORDERS BOOKS AND MUSIC
2817 N. Clark Street
Chicago, IL  60657
(773) 935-3909

SAN FRANCISCO
Wednesday, March 25, 2009 at 7:00 PM
BORDERS BOOKS & MUSIC
233 Winston Drive
San Francisco CA 94132
415-731-0665 



SAN DIEGO
Thursday, March 26, 2009 at 7:00 PM
BARNES & NOBLE
10775 Westview Parkway
San Diego, CA 92126
(858) 684-3166

DATES IN ENGLAND, SCOTLAND,
IRELAND, AUSTRALIA, AND
FRANCE COMING SOON…

P.P.P.S. For reading to the very bottom of this email, here’s
your reward: the home video I’ve been promising…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CVNlnFdf2w8

Enjoy.

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As you know, in addition to the usual emails, updates, advice, tips, and toaster giveaways, I spend a lot of time thinking of cool things for us to do on this list.

Things that I’ve done purely for fun and as a thank-you in response to your questions (like the Stylelife Challenge) have actually turned into full-fledged books (Rules of the Game).

So let’s see where this idea goes.

Here’s what I’ve been thinking:

Why don’t we form a new type of book club.

You’re all going to be getting Emergency at the same time when it comes out next week.

So, since we’ll all be reading it simultaneously, why don’t we discuss it together.

I’ve never done this before. In fact, I haven’t yet figured out:

A. How it will be possible to have an intelligible discussion with so many people on the phone.

B. If I’m going to enjoy or dread this type of interaction, since I’ve turned down all requests to speak to book clubs reading my other books.

So, for starters, let me gauge your interest level on this:

Email me at manofstyle@gmail.com if you’re interested in joining an Emergency Book Club to discuss the book together and ask me questions as you read.

Make your subject heading “EMERGENCY,” so it stands out.

I’ll read and tally your responses, then get back to you next week and let you know if it’s possible to do this and how we’ll be doing it IF it can happen.

Best,
Neil

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There’s lots to tell you, so I’m going to make it quick. 

First off, news about Emergency is starting to leak everywhere
online, and I wanted you all to get a taste of it first. So I basically took the typeset pages I read for my last edit of the book and put together a few chapters for you, so you can get an idea of what the book I’ve been working on in secret for the last three years is all about. Note that because this is the advance version, there’s a design error in the “contract.” This glitch will not appear in the final book.  So think of this as the limited-edition rough draft. You can get your free chapters at the link below:

http://neilstrauss.com/EmergencyAdvance.pdf   (Note: right click on the link to download)

Next, I promised you all a book release party and signing. I’m really looking forward to this, because I just booked it today at my favorite new lounge in Los Angeles. It’s going to start at 7 p.m. sharp on perhaps the most appropriate day for a book like this: Friday the 13th of March. I’ll do a talk and reading, followed by an open Q&A and a signing.  (Book Soup will be there with copies of Emergency as well as hopefully the other books). And those who are there will be brought to a special, secret after-party nearby. Oh, and I’ll also be bringing a live wolf. Just to keep things exciting. Make sure you get there early, in case it gets full. And it’s a good spot to bring a friend, a date, a wing, a relative, or your own personal goon. Cost of entry: free, as a thank-you for supporting the book. Here are the details:

Friday, March 13th at 7:00 PM
H.Wood Club in the Hollywood and Highland Complex
1738 N. Orange Ave., Los Angeles, CA 90028

(It’s one of those “cool” clubs without a sign. Note that the entrance is on Orange, just north of Hollywood. Walk up the stairs outside, then immediately enter the club through the door on your right and proceed upstairs to the second floor.) For those of you who aren’t in Los Angeles, here’s the information for the rest of the book readings, signings, gladhanding, and Q&A sessions.

NEW YORK   
Tuesday, March 10 at 7:00 PM
BARNES & NOBLE in Tribeca
97 Warren Street
New York, NY 10007
212-587-5389

WASHINGTON, DC   
Thursday, March 12, 2009 at 6:30 p.m.
BORDERS BOOKS & MUSIC
1801 K Street, NW
Washington DC 20006
202-466-4999

LOS ANGELES
Friday, March 13th at 7:00 PM
(See details for H.Wood above. For more information, try Book Soup, which is taking care of the “book signing” portion of the evening: 310-659-3110.)

CHICAGO
Thursday, March 19, 2009 at 7:00 PM 
BORDERS BOOKS AND MUSIC
830 N. Michigan Ave.
Chicago, IL 60611
312-573-0564

SAN FRANCISCO
Wednesday, March 25, 2009 at 7:00 PM
BORDERS BOOKS & MUSIC
233 Winston Drive
San Francisco CA 94132       
415-731-0665

SAN DIEGO
Thursday, March 26, 2009 at 7:00 PM
BARNES & NOBLE
10775 Westview Parkway
San Diego, CA 92126
(858) 684-3166

THE UNITED KINGDOM AND ALL POINTS BEYOND
Dates Coming Soon… Obviously, not all of you are living some place where you can make it to these events. So I have something special planned for you as well, as mentioned in an earlier email.  Things are so busy right now, but I will get back to you within the next week with details about a special event and experience for SOME of you (there will probably have to be a capacity to make this idea feasible). And I’ll also send you that video I promised in the last email.  It’ll make more sense in the context of the advance chapters you’re about to read anyway.

Racing The Clock,
Neil

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Ever since our successful book-cover vote-a-thon here a few weeks back, I’ve received a byte load of emails asking what the next book, Emergency, is actually about. 

Especially since there’s been a lot of misinformation about it online. 

So I thought, before the press starts coming out, I should let you guys in on it first. Especially since, even though the book won’t bereleased for another month, a small story in it has already leakedout, and will probably end up in the gossip columns soon. You may find it interesting, because it’s about what happened after the scene in The Game when Britney Spears exchanged phone numbers with me. 

After The Game came out, she surprisingly got in touch and invited me to her house. It was a pretty surreal and moving experience. 

But, though the full story is in Emergency, that’s not what the book is about. 

You may recall that, in The Game and in his own writing, Mystery often says that the primary purpose of life is to survive and the secondary purpose is to replicate. 

So if The Game is about the secondary purpose of life, then Emergency is about the primary purpose. 

Rather than telling you the extremes I went to in order to master the primary purpose of life, I’m going to check with my publisher and see if I can get permission to send you a chapter. 

But beyond that, if you’ve been on this VIP list for a while, you probably know that I like to do things differently and keep things more personal, especially for longtime readers. 

To that end, I’ve been thinking of something special to do for the book launch in early March that will involve all of you. I’m going to do one thing locally - at probably the coolest new venue in LA if they’ll let me bring wild animals there. I’ll also let you know the book tour dates and locations. 

In addition, for those in other cities and countries, I’m going to try something we’ve never done before on this list that will enable us toget to know each other a lot better. 

I realize this may seem vague, but I want to make sure I have all the details worked out. And right now, I’m far away from home. I’m actually in my new home country, which you’ll read about in Emergency too. I’ve spent three years working on this whole project and transformation in total secrecy, so I’m excited to finally let the cat out of the bag. 

More To Come,

Neil 

P.S. On another subject, you may remember the email last month about the Game being vilified on recent television sitcoms and dramas. Well, seems like yet another show has joined the fray. At least, according to your emails because, I must confess, I am not a regular viewer of the new Beverly Hills 90210. But evidently, this week’s episode had a scene featuring a pickup manual called The Credo and a discussion of every television writer’s favorite subject, the neg. It’s supposedly even described as “a disgusting, insulting book.” Hmm…

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First of all, I wanted to let you know that I’m back and safe. I

had to spend a few days in the cold with nothing but leaves to

eat, but all worked out okay in the end. It’s not the first time

I’ve done this. You’ll be able to read about the first time in the

new book.

 

I’m supposedly getting a final release date from the publisher

(as well as permission to tell you all about it) shortly.

 

Anyway, I’m writing because…I officially don’t get it:

 

In the last week, two more prime-time scripted television shows

ripped off The Game and Mystery’s techniques.

 

And of course perverted the message of the whole thing.

 

For those who haven’t been keeping score, last year, CSI Miami

aired an episode about pickup artists with rival workshops, an

undercover reporter infiltrating them, and murderous results.

 

Then there was Twins (the Sara Gilbert show), in which Gilbert’s

nerdy high school friend returns transformed after having

written a book about picking up women using techniques like negs.

 

And on a recent Ugly Betty episode, she interviews the writer of a

book called Tap That: How to Score With Hot Bitches, which

advocates the A.S.S. approach to meeting women (Approach, Subdue,

Score).

 

TV writers seem especially fond of using use pua jargon like neg

and peacocking, which one of us should probably get the

Oxford

English dictionary to include by following these steps:

 

http://www.oed.com/readers/research.html

 

Anyway, I thought TV writers had their fill of The Game after

these shows.

 

But then, the other week, on Big Bang Theory, one of the nerds,

Howard, decides to try peacocking and negs, and strikes out

miserably.

 

And then last week, on Criminal Minds, investigators chase after

a man who’s taken a pickup workshop with a Mystery clone named

Raven, and is now seducing and murdering innocent clubgoing women.

 

Do you sense a theme here?

 

It’s that the game is for creeps, losers, and killers.

 

And this kinda pisses me off.

 

Why?

 

Because it shames men out of seeking help for their issues. Help

that could bring them out out of their social shells. Help

that could make them much happier with themselves. Help that

will, for most of them, lead at some point to marriage and

children - and, in the meantime, lead to new experiences and

friendships, not to mention some fun, consensual late nights.

 

The truth is, from the thousands upon thousands of successful

AND botched pickups I’ve witnessed: The game poses a far greater

threat to the guy than to the girl. And not one TV show has

captured this

 

The real victims of the game are the guys who get so into it,

they lose themselves. They lose the things that are special

about them as individuals, they lose their direction in life,

they lose their ability to relate normally to people.

 

And that is a minority of guys. Most are smart enough to get it,

and blossom into amazingly cool, fun, successful guys.

 

When it comes to violence in society, which these shows love to

attribute to PUAs as an exciting plot twist, if you read the news,

some of the most shocking crimes in society have been caused by

men who have pent-up sexual desires but have either been rejected

or just have no way to attain them. So they grow dark and bitter

and hateful, and eventually lash out. Other instances of violence

(like school shootings and suicides) have been caused by people

who felt like social outcasts. And other instances (like domestic

abuse) stem from an attempt to take control over the victim.

 

(Of course, some people are just crazy, fucked-up sociopaths.)

 

The point is: when taught and learned correctly, the game

socializes men.

 

And the more socialized people we have in this world, the less

anti-social behavior we’ll see.

 

If fewer people feel powerless around and invalidated by others,

than fewer people will resort to trying to get what they believe

to be the upper hand through violence

 

So, rather than leading to more violence in the world, the game

is at least a step toward leading guys to seek help with

their issues and pointing to other attainable solutions.

 

Because the game is not about wearing a funny hat and insulting

women.

 

It’s about becoming your best self and making the best possible

first impression you can. It’s about understanding the rules

that people use to make social and sexual and professional

choices and alliances, and working effectively within that system.

It’s about attracting others by learning to master yourself, rather

than trying to control them. And it’s also about having fun when

you go out, rather than cowering timidly in the corner.

 

Though the seduction community has its faults and shortcomings, I

often think about what my life would have been like if I never

discovered it. And I would have died having missed out on so much

of life, because I was so scared and timid and uncomfortable and

mute around women and strangers.

 

And what worries me about these shows is that, psychologically,

they make guys who feel socially ostracized feel even MORE

ostracized and ashamed for trying to do something to change it.

 

So, in conclusion, we’re all going to have to band together and

change the tide on this in television dramas and sitcoms. (Thanks

to VH1, at least this is getting a better depiction on the reality

show front.) Maybe we can make a show about a crime-solving team

of pickup artists, who use their social skills to make connections

and get information from people.

 

Or maybe not.

 

But at least we can all do our part in encouraging anyone - male or

female - to take whatever positive steps are necessary towards

becoming a better, more attractive, more successful person who’s

fully and fearlessly engaged in life.

 

Thanks for listening,

Neil

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