Neil Strauss

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The top eleven list is just below.

But, first, to wrap things up from the last email, yes, as
predicted, things got a little crazy.

Your paperback copies of the new version of Rules of the Game have
been arriving fast and furious, and the guy at the PO Box is very
upset with me. But thank you: for the amazing notes almost every
one of you included with your books. I tried, when possible, to
address something in your note in the inscription.

So in response to your notes, I wanted to send you a quick note to
share something I wrote recently, when I was asked to put together
a list of ten lessons I’ve learned while studying and teaching
the game.

I think the following may be useful to many of you doing the
Stylelife Challenge or otherwise learning this stuff, and may cut
down some of your learning time. For those of you who’ve only read
Emergency, this may be a little less useful. Though it is most
certainly a survival skill.

Some of these ideas we’ve discussed before. Some we haven’t. So
here they are, plus one extra lesson I just added just now.

ELEVEN PICK UP EPIPHANIES

1. What you look like doesn’t matter. But how you present yourself
does.

2. Nobody is judging you. They’re too busy worrying about what you
think of them. So instead of seeking her approval, give her yours.
Then take it away. Then give it to her again. This is called
flirting.

3. Women do actually like nice guys. They just don’t like weak
guys. So you can still be nice. But you must also be confident–in
yourself, your opinions, and your worthiness and value in the
world. In order for a woman to be with you, she needs to feel safe
with you.

4. It’s not enough to just be yourself. You must be your best self.

5. There’s a thin but important line between being horny and being
sexual. A horny man hits on a woman before she’s attracted to him.
A sexual man waits until she’s attracted to him.

6. Just because you’re interacting doesn’t mean you’re attracting.
Learn to recognize the difference between politeness and interest.

7. To win the heart of a woman, you often have to be willing to
risk losing her.

8. When a girl who you went on a date with in the past and who
suddenly disappeared on you calls out of the blue, it generally
means one thing - so call back right away before she finds someone
else to be with that night.

9. Always call a woman the day after sleeping with her and make her
feel good about having let go with you–even if you don’t want to
see her again or she doesn’t want to see you again. Don’t ruin her
for other guys.

10. Don’t look to your friends or family for approval as you learn
the game. They may like you just the way you are, but not always
for the right reasons. With some “friends,” this is because when
you start looking better, feeling more confident, and succeeding
more than they do, you often end up reminding them of their own
inadequacies and lack of growth.

11. Finally, to quote the wisdom of Canadian hockey player Wayne
Gretzky, “You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take.” So
simply by approaching a woman and saying something, no matter how
badly you may bumble, you’ve dramatically increased your odds of
being with her.

Hope this is helpful to some of you.

Talk Soon,
Neil

PS On an unrelated note, someone recently sent me a link to a
series of experiments that provide further evidence of the concept
of social proof we often discuss:

Evidently, a team of scientists exposed female mice to odors of
either a male mouse alone or a male mouse with a female. And the
females consistently preferred the scent of males linked to other
females. “Our data suggest that female mice may use, or even copy,
the interests of other females based on olfactory cues,” said one
of the scientists. “It could also be seen as a female trusting the
mate choice of another female.”

So, obviously, the message is, rub a female mouse on you before
going out. It’ll work. Science has proven it.

P.P.S. For those of you who now have the Routines Collection, let
me know your favorites and which are working best for you! Especially
regarding the more advanced, late-game ones I haven’t shared before.
I always appreciate hearing any tweaks and modifications you guys
come up with…

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