The State Of The Game Today

Neil StraussNeil, The Game20 Comments

At every seminar, I always take the guys who are still virgins to lunch so they can get some extra one-on-one help.

In the past, I used to tell them during lunch how to dress and present themselves better, how to be more comfortable in their own skin, and how to get past their sticking points.

But then I stopped doing that during our lunches.

Because I realized that, for the guys who were still involuntary virgins and 27 or older, it had nothing to do with those things.

They were symptoms of something larger going on.

The reason for their inexperience had to do with their childhood–and either a traumatic experience or an un-nuturing way in which they were raised. In fact, there were a few specific kinds of “inappropriate” parenting that tended to lead to this.

And the cure was deep inner healing.

This shift is just one way in which The Game has changed since it was written.

The Game is no longer just about behavior and how to change your behavior.

The Game is also about beliefs and how to change your beliefs.

Especially the negative, limiting, and patently untrue beliefs many people have about themselves deep down.

This may be is a lot more difficult to do than the former, but in the end will transform not just a student’s dating life but every element of it.

And I’m writing today because I think many aren’t aware of how The Game has changed and how much deeper we’ve understood and unpacked the subjects of attraction, confidence, social behavior,
and self-improvement.

I just wrapped up a two-day master class on The Game. And afterward, I was watching a video we made for internal use and thought it might be cool to let you all take a look.

There’s a journalist named Nick who once interviewed me and offered afterward to volunteer some time helping out. And he’s clipped together some excerpts to show you all.

So here is an introduction to some of the basic principles I’m teaching now, none of which you’ll find in The Game. This section of the seminar addresses the second-most frequent question I’m emailed about: approach anxiety.

But it really applies to all social and life anxiety.


20 Comments on “The State Of The Game Today”

  1. You raise a valid point, though I do not think changing one’s beliefs about themselves would be all that simple. I do understand, however, that that does not apply to everyone. I am mostly referring to myself. I am only 20, four months from 21, but I have put myself down since I was little with no clue where it stems from. Despite the effort I put in every day to change the way I think about myself, it never seems to change. Also I just signed up for this website today, so please forgive me if I am breaking any ethics codes that people have for the comments. I just figured I would jump right in, seeing as I signed up because I feel that I need help.

    1. Little bro, I can say that “failure” is one thing that had always reiterated my low self esteem.
      Whether it was just in general social situations, or getting rejected by girls.
      Lemme tell you this too, I’m a pretty decent looking individual, I tell u that only to make the point, that even if you look like Brad Pitt, that doesn’t mean that you can’t be a fuckin weirdo, or have poor social skills, lack of confidence, or all of the above.
      What I HAVE done however is over the years, STRIVED to grow. I’ve constantly asked myself ” what did I do wrong ? Or right “?
      I STILL get rejected by girls left and right and dominantly have, although apparently looking Paul Walker, that’s not a joke.
      BUT, I have gotten BETTER and BETTER and BETTER over the years. And every so often, BOOM. I got one. Had I never developed/tried over the years, I’d probably not have much of the success I’ve had.
      We must piss out our fucking weakness and CONSTANTLY be adjusting. Dude, I SWEAR, I have seen FAT/or “ugly” dudes with STELLAR fucking women.
      I’ve seen WAY more mediocre looking dudes with hotties. You know why ? Cause they got fuckin BALLS, confidence, intelligence. Sometimes money. They are unphased by faggot bullshit. They are strong, they are focused. That will shit on a mediocre minded male model ALL DAY. ( alliteration aside )
      Your self belief won’t just necessarily transform over night. Although there is a book called psycho cybernetics I hily recommend looking into.
      It is within the confines of our imagination that we can literally visualize and BE a different person. You can reshape your paradigm by “being it” in your imagination.
      Either way, flush your excuses down the toilet. And focus on developing :
      1) your BALLS, or Masculine state of being, think Chuck Norris, UFC fighter, a fuckin MAN. ( that doesn’t mean be a meat head asshole, it just means don’t be a faggot , don’t be a pussy, don’t be so unsure of yourself, you MUST DEVELOP this )
      2) your social skills, being sharp, being funny, being cool, being friendly ( get the fuck over your excuses, you have no choice )
      3) be clear with what you actually want, do you want to get laid, or find a great girl to love, I’ve found that cheese dick tactics won’t necessarily get you a good girl, and conversely being a gentleman won’t get you that dumb skank who just wants some dick.
      I will let you know, hooking up is a great thing, physically. It IS intoxication. However, the next day, it’s like nothing really happened.
      I’m torn between telling you to seek God and read All of Neil’s books. Maybe do both.
      Spirit and flesh are always at war. I struggle all the time. Between my dick and my soul.
      Ether way, educate yourself, get out and try and fail and try and fail and try and fail. You may be surprised one day when a hot girl responds to you nicely, but you HAVE to be able to follow it up. Develop your social skills and your inner core. Maybe join the marines for 4 years to help you become a MAN. At core, women need a MAN. With a DICK . And hair around his balls, who can fuckin hunt meat and fuck her. BUT, he must also be smooth, and caring, and tentative to her feminine needs. It’s WORK little brother. WORK WORK WORK. It is LITERALLY, as I have found it to be…. An art. To attract a girl, and to keep her. Listen to your 27 year old elder who cares. And remember man, just cause a girl is really good looking, does NOT mean she has ANY fuckin value outside of that. Seek the best and strive to BECOME your best. Read Neil’s books and other educational books out there. Get out there and try and fail, go home and analyze. Then go out again and try again. Cultivate YOURSELF to get more friends, more social life, and for Gods sakes, don’t neglect making good money. Unless you’re a bad ass socially, no one wants to hang with a broke ass hole.
      May the force be with you. 😉

      1. Btw, same guy talking, one way I developed my “social skills” was by CONSTANTLY being outgoing, taking social risks, speaking my mind in public situations. And you know what, dating all the way back to elementary school, MOST kids thought I was a fag, I got made fun of often for being a weirdo. By emulating Ace Ventura, TRYING to be funny, it often back fired on me. But I NEVER gave up bro. I KEPT TALKING. read that. KEPT TALKING. I gradually became less and less annoying or weird and became cooler and cooler and funnier and funnier. It’s fuckin awesome. My confidence today is fucking STUPID. I KNOW I am the shit, IRREGARDLESS of what anyone thinks. I am sharp, I am witty, and I generally make people laugh, sometimes pretty hard. And sure, sometimes people get offended, cause I’m constantly free styling, but GOOD ! FUCK EM !! Have fun,, loosen up, and say some shit. Watch stand up comedy and study WTF they say. There is a lot of gold to be found in absurdity. I like to be confidently absurd. And most of the time it works in my favor.
        The problem with most of us, is we keep our mouths shut, we DON’T take social risks. It keeps us SHY, it’s our little safey zone.
        I’m telling you man, start GETTING OUT THERE. Don’t be a fuckin tight ass who thinks he transcends everyone else with his dominant intellect. I know cause I still do sometimes. But dude, everyone HATES that guy. That tight ass. Which is a defense mechanism by the way.
        You hear me mother fucker ????
        But don’t let it hurt you,, LEARN from it.

        1. Good old fashioned time and EFFORT…
          And if you’re smart, you will highly increase WHAT TO DO, by reading Neil’s books.
          God damn it, I should make a commission off this advertising.

          If you read this Neil, your friends with a little Persian girl named Sherri.
          Ask her about “the peep” I’d love to meet you one day man 😉

        2. I appreciate the input. Truly, thank you. My whole problem is that I don’t get out much. For some reason I hate for people to know how smart I am. Not to mention just how nice I am. I have been walked over my whole life. So I guard myself now, almost constantly. I will check out more of Neil’s books, I am currently about halfway through “The Game”. I get along with others well, I don’t have a hard time making friends, I just don’t reach out. I am a little odd, but everyone is. By the way, I love the Star Wars reference. But, again thank you.

          1. Little brother … 😉
            Stoked to see a reply. The way you just described yourself, was kindve the feeling I was getting. Hence my constant reiteration of developing your balls. Your fuckin PRESENCE. You might not be buff, OR super good looking, but we’ve established there’s more to it than that. For many attractive women, who aren’t whores deep down. Many inevitably start to hate the “bad boy” they’re so drawn to in their youth and just wanna “good guy” who can also generally pay bills. I’m tryin to think man, like what some good first steps would be for you. The Game is gonna fill your head with great ideas and philosophies, but it won’t necessarily give you a launching pad for creating what’s more important, and that’s what’s at your core. Neil, unlike many other pick up artists sought education on how to develop WITHIN, vs. just how to run lines on women. Cause frankly, without REAL confidence behind you, it generally won’t matter what you say, women are like dogs, they SENSE your fear, or your balls. This might sound cheesy, but really give it a try, understand, we all have deep rooted history that has SHAPED OUR SELF IMAGE and our LIFE PARADIGM. In psycho cybernetics , the author discusses its not so important DISCOVERING the CAUSE of your self image, as opposed to simply taking new steps to begin to RESHAPE it. I want you to try this, I’m not joking : when you have alone time, go in front of your mirror, grab your junk, and yell “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT !!!” Say a few times, or many times, “I AM A FUCKING MAN!!” Then slam your fists on your chest like a primate. “I FUCKING EAT MEAT AND I FUCK PUSSY, BECAUSE I AM A MAN!!!!” Basically, I want you to make really loud masculine affirmations. I want you to get PISSED OFF, that you’re such a BITCH!!!! You NEED to get PISSED OFF, bro. You need to say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH . Now though you and I are indeed friendly gentlemen , and these affirmations may seem counterintuitive to our mirthful way of being. You NEED to try this. You need to throw a wrench in your subconscious that tells you you’re a big pussy, and you need to start to reshape your BELIEFS. Start walking with your shoulders back, mind your posture. Start conversations. Try to walk past a girl, and maybe casually tell her she’s cute. It likely won’t get you any result, but at least you begin to get a feel. There’s so much to be done that goes into reshaping ones self. But , man. If you can at least take some baby steps, that’d be sick.
            You need to get fuckin ANGRY man. It is in anger that the LION can be found. Slap yourself in the face, hit your chest, fuckin ROAR, boy !!! Start to pull the man out. D you want to be 40, 50 years old, just quietly living your life, without a cool chick, hidden in the back, nice and safe ??? NO !! FUCK THAT NOISE !!! Start doing manly things. Play a sport, take a martial art class. Go hang with some foul mouth assholes at the bar, idk the exact answer. I’ll tell you this, there was a point when my dad started being a real asshole, really pushing me in my late teens. To the point where I got panic attacks and almost slugged this motherfucker in his dome. That honestly HELPED me in the long run. Anger is powerful. Get Mad.

            I think I get what you mean, in terms of worrying that your intelligence will perhaps convey “dorkyness”? If you dig, you will learn, that words are quite powerful. Though women subconsciously wanna fuck a strong caveman, you can also give them a whole new experience by SPEAKING TO THEM, eloquently. Now, yes, you don’t wanna talk about dorky subjects that turn them off, however, intelligence is a gift, man. To be ARTICULATE… I LOVE speaking in an educated fashion to women. Cause I KNOW it will turn good quality women on. Stupid bitches won’t care, I don’t know what to do to figure them out. I can’t relate with retards. Doesn’t matter how hot they are, my intelligence and way with words goes way over some girls heads and they’re immediately turned off. But so what, fuck em. I ain’t gonna dumb it down. I am proud to be an educated bad mother fucker. I must simply ask myself, what is an appropriate strategy for ME with these dumb broads? But being too lazy I just let it be. It’s good, your nice, and smart. Those are assets, we must all work to find BALANCE my young padowan. BALANCE. Anakin could’ve been the SHIT, but he wasn’t balanced. Plus yoda was a dick in my opinion when he was a kid. I am very nice, perhaps too nice as well, but I’ve learned to MONITOR my shit and have control. Plus the anger and pain I’ve dealt with through the years has shaped some cynicism as well which helps me to also be “the asshole” it’s a big balancing act. And frankly, different girls react to different things. So use your INTELLIGENCE, and ask yourself , ” what’s MY idea of the best ME ?” Write some ideas down.what things do you need to eliminate for your personality ? What traits do you need to strengthen ? Remember. Don’t give excuses. Just take baby steps toward improvement . And don’t forget to grab your balls, look in the mirror and declare to yourself and the universe that you are a MAN!!!!!

          2. The funny thing is, I have taken a martial arts class. I just don’t project that I will send someone to the hospital if they fuck with me. If I am having a good day my shoulders are back. It is odd, some days I will be completely confident, then other it seems to just…disappear. Anyway, I am glad that you were willing to talk to me and give me advice, I don’t find many people who will do that. not to mention I don’t talk to anyone when something goes bad in my life. Everyone always comes to me when they have problems, so my role is usually the advice giver.

      2. Well as far as my intellect is concerned,there is no fucken God,science can tell you better about that for confidence I would advice one to utilize his inevitable death as a motive to go out there and fulfill his sexual desires while his life is still at his fucken hands

  2. Funnily enough this is the side of game i normally completely ignore. Meditate for one hour every morning after waking up but apart from that i don’t try and change any of my beliefs or do any more inner game stuff. I’m quite settled so never really saw the need for any of it. Having said that i don’t really run any game either. Wait why the hell am i even here? Guess i find the subject matter fascinating

    1. Actually here is a serious question. What would be your advice to someone who is too happy and content. What i mean is, i could work harder on my business and build up my income so i could do more stuff, and i could like go out and meet this beautiful girl who will bring more to my life. But then i just realize I’m already pretty settled and content and just sit here feeling happy.

  3. Funny I should find myself here on this website watching this video, today. I went to the gym back home for the first time since I got back from a three week vacation, and was quickly reminded of why I feel depressed whenever I go there. For so long, I have kept to myself (listening to music with headphones in, not making conversation), and make tons of eye contact with people. That’s right. i would just stare at people, wishing I had the guts to talk to them. I see bunches of guys who are obviously already friends hanging out together and enjoying an afternoon workout and I don’t even know how I would begin to integrate myself. Just being social is something I wish I had learned how to do, but never did. Why? The video provides that answer. And not to mention, there are two…you might say quite good looking women who work the smoothie bar…now I find myself looking for answers.

    Thanks, Neil.

  4. Sir neil strauss I wAnt to buy your books pua dark arts can you telk me
    How to get one im from phillipines

    1. Bro, do you have access to ?
      Go there and type in Neil Strauss, it’s an online purchase, so you will need a debit/credit card #

      1. Sir thank you very much
        Can you give me advice for what book I should buy Im only a beginner and how I can make sure that the product I will buy is getting here in my country

  5. You are enough!
    I need to stay updated with you so I don’t miss out on events like this.
    Since I’ve read The Game almost right after it came out I’ve learned one significant thing about myself: never give up.

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