One: Learn something new every day.
Start a new hobby. Read a new book. Take a class. The more you know, the more you’ll have to talk about.
Here’s an exercise that I started doing when I first got into the game and still do today. It’s called the “Wiki-a-day Exercise” and it’s great for the guys who complain that they “can’t think of anything to say.”
The Wiki-a-day Exercise:
Read one random Wikipedia article every day, and then bring it up in conversation later that same day. You don’t have to tell someone new (although it’s preferable). You can bring up the topic with friends, relatives or co-workers. The point of talking about it is to cement the information into your head. After a few months, you’ll be shocked at how much more you know and how much more you have to talk about.
Two: Become an adventurer!
Last week, I met a French girl at a party up in San Francisco. We chatted for a while, and before leaving we friended each other on Facebook. The next morning, I messaged her to see if she wanted to meet up. Within an hour I was on my way to her place. She was waiting at the Muni stop for me. She told me we were going to take her car somewhere. When we got in the car, I asked where we were going and she said, “towards the sun” which is exactly where we went, but not where we ended up. What I thought was going to be a fun afternoon turned into an epic three-day adventure in San Francisco. It included secret secluded beaches, hidden Cliffside bars, and impromptu mountain climbing in expensive shoes. I learned about French culture, found a new band I love, and drank some amazing wine. Plus, now I have a great story to tell.
Get out of the house and explore the world. If you don’t think you have the time or money to travel, don’t worry. You won’t have to go far. Your hometown is a great place to start. Search online or in local papers to find out what’s happening in your area. Build a list of places that interest you and try to mark them off as often as you can by visiting them.
Below is a suggestion for categories you might want on your list:
- Museums/Historical Sites
- Outdoor Activities
Feel free to build your list however you like. Just remember – get out of the house.
Three: Add value, don’t take it.
This is a lesson Neil taught me when I first moved to LA. If you can bring something valuable to the table, anyone will enjoy having you there. Tell a story, teach them something interesting, or share some personal wisdom. If you don’t think you have much to offer, then refer to the previous lessons.