The Importance Of Disengaging

Richard ArthurAdvice, Books, Missing Persons, Neil, Survival, Survival Gear, Survival Videos, The Game, Writing

Things have been crazy lately.
I’ve been on hiatus for a few weeks, to focus on hitting a big book deadline.
And these stretches have consistently been the most all-consuming, stressful periods of my life.
While working around the clock, I felt inspired to share an idea with you that’s very different from what we usually cover.
I’ve talked a lot about the Deep inner work required in success, relationship, and reaching 10x goals (which I’ll continue to do…)
But I wanted to take a moment to address something else that’s been equally critical to my success…Not working.If you’ve been a long-time follower, you’ll know that I’m highly diligent about time managementI have elaborate systems in place to protect my writing time and balance other areas of my life—fatherhood, running coaching groups, writing several books at once, and consulting on many other projects.But just as I have sacred time for writing, as we’ve talked about recently…
I also have sacred time for recuperating.My daily routines are blocked with times where I disengage. Time to put away screens. Go surfing. Eat quality food. Do outdoor workouts. Red light therapy. Breathwork. Meditation. Sauna/ice bath. Connect with loved ones.And these are commitments I take just as seriously as any coaching session or work meeting.
Because they massively impact my happiness, presence, and performance in every other area.A lot of us here are high-achievers. You might be familiar with working under pressure. You might even thrive in it.But that also means you’re likely familiar with burnout—times where you feel exhausted and brain-dead, with nothing left to give. At one of our last Intensives, with a renown professor of neuroscience, we went deep into understanding the cutting-edge research on optimal performance, managing stress, and overcoming fear, among other things…And so much of it comes down to quality rest and hacks to regulate the nervous system. 10x goals, or books, or the journey of self-improvement, are ultramarathons. Not sprints (except maybe once in a while, if you’re on a sudden deadline…) To have endurance to go the distance, keep reaching new heights, and actually enjoy life along the way to any destination…Pacing and replenishing ourselves is key. And although hitting the brakes to take downtime sounds easy, it’s often the last thing we do…In all my coaching groups, and my own experience, I’ve found there’s just as much resistance and Deep Inner Game around resting as there is around working.
One reason, it seems, is that rest is an act of loving care. And in our early lives, we may have never felt worthy of love, or learned how to give it to ourselves.This underlying sense of lack can create both high-achievers and under-achievers, depending on how we chose to deal with it.If we decide our worth is based on achievements, we might feel unable to stop and take care of ourselves. We get stuck in false survival mode—constantly running from an internal fear of failure, rather than real external threats.In fake survival mode, if you’re not pressing the accelerator and moving forwards, it feels like you’re falling behind and moving backwards… And restful activities that don’t bring immediate financial results may seem like a waste of time.On the flip side, if we choose to surrender and give in to the negative story that we’re not inherently worthy, or valuable…We may not believe we deserve self-care. We don’t put in the effort because it doesn’t even occur as an option.As the strange times of the pandemic draw on, and you hold your goals in sight, I encourage you to hit pause and take care of yourself, in support of your continued success.For many I mentor, life’s challenges have never been more overwhelming. Self-care will raise your capacity to handle whatever obstacle are put in your path.Because sometimes the answer to a problem is not to push, but to accept. And let be. Even for a moment.So, if you’ve been looking for permission to rest and regroupLet this be your hall pass.Your goals, dreams, and maybe even problems, will still be waiting for you when you return.But you might be better able to take them on. With more peace, tact, and care.