A Seducer’s Library: The Top Game Books

Neil StraussNeil, The Game364 Comments

Still out on the road doing research for the next book, but I took some time off to prepare an important list for those of you on your own Game-related self-improvement journey.

Many people who’ve read The Game want to know what books influenced me as I was learning.

And I’ve often recommended some of the following books. For those who have kept up with my mailing list for a while or been to book signings, you know some of these and have probably read them. So, for you, I’ve noted a few equally essential follow-up books as well.

Here are the top books to read to start understanding and internalizing the fundamental principles:

1. The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem by Nathaniel Branden: Despite what they may say, women do not actually look for confidence in a man. Confidence can easily be faked. What they look for is self-esteem. And, in fact, the journey many men are on is not just about finding women, but finding unshakeable self-esteem that derives from within (not from the opinions or responses of others)—and this is the book that basically defined the modern idea of self-esteem. I recommend starting with the abridged audio version, then following it by reading the actual book to best internalize the ideas.

2. The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene: This classic tome collects and analyzes some of history’s greatest seducers and seductions, and provides a great framework for understanding the types of seducers, seducees, and techniques used. Where The Game and pickup artistry tend to focus on walking up to strangers and creating attraction in the least amount of time, the Art of Seduction stretches the timeframe out and explores long-term, often labor-intensive seductions. My friend Maddash from The Game wrote a great comparison between the two styles that I’ve posted in The Game section for you today. Also recommended: Robert Greene’s other heavily researched and distilled handbook, The 48 Laws of Power.

3. Mastering Your Hidden Self: A Guide to the Huna Way by Serge Kahili King: Too many of us have no idea what goes on inside our own heads. We don’t understand the childhood behavior patterns that solidified into our emotions, our passions, our frustrations, our needs, our thought patterns, and why we sometimes act the way we do. And even when we do understand these things, we often find it difficult to change them. One of the best books on this subject is Mastering Your Hidden Self, by King, an ex-marine. In fact, at signings, when people ask me to write some advice in their books, I often use a quote from this book: “The World Is What You Think It Is.” Also recommended: The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida.

4. The Red Queen by Matt Ridley: The importance of reading books on evolution, like this diverse, engaging, and wide-ranging one, is that suddenly some of the attraction principles that seem counter-intuitive become logical and the techniques that are criticized become timeless truths of human nature. Most importantly, if the Game is played by understanding social rules, then it helps to know how, when, and why they were programmed. Also recommended: Sperm Wars by Robin Baker.

5. Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert Cialdini: First of all, a warning: Make sure you get the book with the white cover (subtitled The Psychology of Persuasion), not the red cover (subtitled Science and Practice). In the book, psychology professor Cialdini examines the shortcuts that people use to make decisions, then distills the tactics of persuasion to six key psychological principles. And five of them (if not six sometimes) come into play in textbook game. Although it’s a book about marketing, understanding these make all the difference in making the leap from interest to attraction. Also recommended: What Every BODY is Saying by Joe Navarro and Marvin Karlins.

6. Introducing NLP by Joseph O’Connor and John Seymour: Though some of NLP’s advocates (including certain magicians) make great claims as to its power to control others, the truth is that it’s much more effective for your own self-improvement. The books by Richard Bandler and John Grinder may be the bedrock of NLP, but Introducing NLP is the place to go for not just a primer on the concepts, but also enough in-depth knowledge to put the key ones into practice. Also recommended: NLP: The New Technology of Achievement edited by Steve Andreas and Charles Faulkner.

And I may be opening Pandora’s Box with this closing statement, but let me know which books have had the biggest impact on your game and self-improvement. If I haven’t read any of them and you make a good case, I’ll check them out.

364 Comments on “A Seducer’s Library: The Top Game Books”

    1. Thanks for the list. Believe it or not, Rich Dad Poor Dad, was another key to my transformation. Despite the cheesy cover, it totally changed my way of thinking. Leaving me with the same “AHA!” feeling that The Game left me with.

      1. Agreed! That book was a huge eye opener in more than just the ways of business. I’ve probably read that book 8 times since it’s come out.

      2. I disagree. “Rich dad poor dad” is an oversimplistic motivational book which completely fails to deliver. When you are done reading through the hundred repetitions of generalities and the hundred times he mentions how oh so much business knowledge he learned by listening to Rich Dad at the dinner table…. (did you notice that he never ever reveals what the heck was so interesting?)…you are left with the happy feeling “yes, I can do that too”, but when you are looking for any tips whatsoever on how to start, you are left with ….nothing, nothing at all. All nice blablabla, no meat, nothing useful, applicable at all. It is introduction into economy for 2 graders…
        Comparre it to “The 4 hour workweek” THAT book delivers what Rich Dad Poor Dad hints at and would love to be.
        Sorry, Rich Dad Poor Dad is a complete failure

        1. Hey man, i also think rich dad poor dad was a bit shallow, but that was written about a decade ago….you should checkout his other book “The business school”, there he endorses a kind of business that anyone can do, which ofcoz i am doing it and man its paying off.

          1. nope you guys missed it. Rich dad is not a how to make money book. if you pay attention he even says as much. This is more like an inner game. to quote him:

            “lottery winners all end up broke and with ruined lives. the problem is not the money, the problem is they have not mastered the emotion of money. the emotions of fear and desire. If you cant first master that . . . then all the money making techniques will not help you”

            If you don’t understand . . . or completely missed the whole point of his book . . . then you didn’t read it, probably just skimmed through it, going yeah yeah whatever.

            I can always spot fakers when it comes to people that claim they read a book. the ones that spend their lifetime, skimming the material and faking it. just like school taught them to do. Start with a hatred of reading and then just learn to fake it.

        2. I agree, rich dad poor dad, it’s not a good read at all… Check out these two books:
          1) how to win friends and influence people- dale Carnegie
          2) think and grow rich- Napoleon hill
          Two of my favorites… Enjoy

        3. I need to totaly disagree with the German especially about the topic of networkmarketing. It sounds like the point of view of somebody who had a traumatic experience with mlm and who doesn`t understand network marketing at all. The main reason for your description will be that you don`t know a single person who has suceed in networkmarketing. The key for succes in our buisness is to bring as much people who will succeed in our organization as possible. The better we are doing this the more money we make. If you are not scared i can teach you how to become succesful in networkmarketing 🙂 It`s the buisness where anybody has to be the chance to be the creator of his own lifeplan. There is a big connection between networkmarketing or better said between becoming succesful in networkmarketing and graduating the game. Enough said but don`t judge things you dont understand. ONE.

        4. Read ‘Real Estate Riches’ and ‘Retire young retire rich’ by the same author. These books are simple and easy to read and understand- sometimes they may seem to simple for people to actually believe how powerful their fundamentals are. His strategy for financial freedom is the best I’ve ever seen by far

    2. I’m going to throw gold right now.

      Awaken the Giant Within, Tony Robbins
      Remove those bad limiting beliefs and experience immediate change!

      How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie
      Good summary of how to get the most out of your contact with other people.

      Think and Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill
      How to develop a better attitude in business and life in general.

      The Death of Ivan Illyich, Leo Tolstoy
      Don’t live according to other people’s rules. It’ll be a wasted life.

      The Arabian Nights, Traditional
      You can be romantic to.

      Art of War, Sun Tzu
      How to AMOG!

      The Prince, Machiavelli
      Be a manly man!

      The Picture of Dorian Gray, Oscar Wilde
      Unlock your hedonism!

      The Metamorphosis, Franz Kafka
      You are what you’re allowed to be treated like, stand up for yourself.

      I have a library of several thousand works, but these are some of my favorites.

      1. I totally agree with six of these! I haven’t read the other three, but I feel that this ENTIRE list is pure gold. Dynamite, RandyPan.

  1. You can skip all of this stuff if you can get your hands on Neil’s The Annihilation Method, everything you need to go from an afc to a pua is in there. The best part is the varied media. Video’s, podcasts and writing is included.

  2. Amazon should sell these in a bundle package. 😉 Will definitely pick up a copy of Hidden Self. For me “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” made the biggest impact on my life.

    1. I’ve just got that one. I’m really looking forward to reading it…don’t tell me how it ends!

  3. I second the recommendation for the 40 Laws of Power. That book transformed how I looked at conflicts with all types of people at school, work, and in my social life. The principles apply to most every situations.

  4. Power of Myth by Joseph Campbell. We are all acting out the same drama that our ancestors acted out thousands of years ago. The storyline hasn’t changed. Realizing that is the first step to transcending it and manipulating the story. See also The Road Less Traveled by Scott Peck. Otherwise, you’re just an automaton. Hope that convinced you, Neil.

    1. Great book, though I prefer watching the series–and reading Hero with a Thousand Faces. And see comment on Peck below; will read. Convinced…

      1. Wasn’t sure anyone would mention Campbell. I’d recommend The Writer’s Journey by Chris Vogler. It’s about story telling, using a lot of Campbell and some Jung. It’s also about how you see yourself as the hero on your own journey. But includes a lot about how to make your storytelling powerful. Both the stories you tell yourself about how to live your life and the stories you tell others, which is really what attracts them. (And, btw, much easier to read than Campbell or Jung.)

  5. I like this article, one of the book that improved my social game was ”How to make friends and influence people” by Dale Carnegie. There are a lot of good stuff in there.

  6. Nice list!

    I also recommend:

    Fire in the Belly: On Being a Man by Sam Keen


    What Every BODY is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent’s Guide to Speed-Reading People

    The latter for me personally is THE best book on the subject body language.

    1. I would recommend “What every BODY is saying” to anyone that wants to know what people around them really thinking real time. Its awesome to know.

    2. just bought what every body is saying on your recommendation, it sounded interesting, just read half of it..and its classic..im gonna finish it and immediately read it again… nice call good sir!

    3. This is a great book especially when you have a language barrier. I am living in Germany for a year and it is quick to pick up and works well for self-confidence and sarging.

  7. Ian Kerner – She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman

    It’s not related to seduction or pick up, just a book on cunnilingus split in to two parts: Anatomy and what roles each part plays in orgasm, and technique and the stages a womans body goes through and recognizing them. I can honestly say that it was a big step up in my self-improvement quest though. The feeling you get when a girls friends tell you that she couldn’t stop talking about the experience, or not having to worry about if you can please a woman does a lot for your self esteem.

    1. Thanks for the list Neil, Cheers mate.
      I cant believe nobody has mentioned it (on the comments so far)
      Richard La Ruina – The Natural Art of Seduction.

      Im not going to go ito it to much, however it mainly goes over the main parts of the seduction process, and how to become a “NATURAL”. I have to mention it is super easy to internalize, understand and use, but if you havent read it, your missing out!
      This book along with Neil’s Rules of the Game are my go to/must have material which are never to far away !


  8. i must say “the 4-hour-workweek” by tim ferriss, though it´s not about game, but reducing the “work-part” in your life and (maybe) starting some small business of your own…

  9. I’ve had a few of these on my list since finishing The Game.

    Interestingly, last week my date recommended I read “Influence” by Cialdini, followed by “as if you need any help persuading people…”.

    I look forward to reading it while on vacation this month.

    1. I second The War of Art.
      This is the best resource I’ve read on understanding the creative struggle. He shows how we need to view creativity as a never-ending war against our own fears and insecurities. He also gives guidance on how to win.

      1. @neil Thanks for the list! Just finished ‘six pillars’ and wow, it made an impact. ‘Art of War’ deals with overcoming ‘resistance’, which is defined as the great force dividing artists from art or people from life. @Ryan nice! Do you write?

    2. I agree, The War of Art is awesome and a very great motivator. It’s kinda like the Tao Te Ching for creative people.

  10. 7 Habits of Highly Effective People – Covey
    Think & Grow Rich – Hill
    The Power of Now – Tolle

    1. I am reading Think and Grow Rich now by Napoleon Hill. Excellent book. Also reading Walden by Henry David Thoreau again. Basically tells you to stop worrying about what everyone else thinks about you and worry about what really matters to you in life.

      Ordered 6 pillars on your recommendation, pretty excited to dive in. Thanks for the list!

    2. Agreed on “Power of Now.”

      I’m surprised the Power of Now is not mentioned more in lists like this. I tried to read “Mastering Your Hidden self” but I just kept thinking “tolle said this much more clearly already” 🙂

  11. Not game related but life related, i would suggest:

    Stumbling on Happiness by Dan Gilbert:
    “Why do we so often fail to know what will make us happy in the future?”
    A psychologist tackles the question of happiness and he does so in a very funny way.

    Manwatching/Peoplewatching by Desmond Morris:
    A zoologist that studied the human animal’s gestures.
    an essential book that explains body language and gestures of the human as if he was just another animal.
    I had a hard time finding it but it is a beautiful book, with helpful illustrations and the best book about body language as a science in my oppinion.

    The selfish gene by Richard Dawkins:
    another book on evolution, not always easy to read but absolutely worth it.

  12. Having a lot of these books on your bookcase will be an interesting theme in your place… A girl visiting your place will be fascinated by the themes and will start browsing through them… Be careful not to get more interested in the books than in you 🙂 But in all seriousness, she’ll love to hear your take on them, and it’s an easy way to start talking about sexuality… Do it correctly, she’ll ask you to “prove” the facts you’ll be telling her 🙂

    The best line of advice I got was from St. Slim Jim himself with the “get a girlfriend and learn by yourself”. At some point, you have to apply what you learn, if you are starting right now.

  13. Hey guys… I’ve read most and i find them interesting reads though it took effort to read the red queen and the art of seduction…

    The most useful to me was the introducing NLP…

    happy days


  14. “A Natural History of the Rich” by Richard Coniff. Very fascinating work of evolutionary psychology.

    “Thick Face, Black Heart” by Chin-Ning Chu. This book shows how it’s possible to be spiritual even with a Machiavellian attitude, something which was difficult for me, at least.

  15. Thanks Neil, unbelievably valuable post. When I read the game it put me on an awesome journey of self development, of course I loved the social dynamics and all the birds stuff in it but for me it was inspirational on how you can improve yourself. Books like Mastering your hidden self and Influence and a couple of NLP books where exceptionally enlightening and a must for anyone. I can’t wait to read the others on the list I haven’t read yet.

    In addition on my path of development I picked up a technique 6 months ago called transcendental meditation, now I just was interested in the technique not the surrounding history and ethos etc. but I must say my brain activity has shot off, its cool at first but after about 3 months it kicked to gear and in the last 3 months for example I dropped 2 stone (thank you Timmy Ferris, also found through Neil) dramatically reduce my drinking and smoking, did creative writing course and started writing, and improved all my relationships to name a few, .

    Sorry for the long post, what I really want to say anything recommended by Neil is always amazing and intensely beneficial to your life…..cheers bro!

    1. Be cautious about TM though. I prcticed it for 6 years, close to zero results. It is just sitting and relaxing. Mantras are given out by age group and the TM teachers tell you to keep it secret to increase effectiveness. Have they told you about the “siddha” techiniques? They claim to be able to develop superpowers, including the ability to levitate. That did it for me. Nobody would show m a levitating siddha. The photos of levitating meditators they showed the public were easily replicated by a group of sports students at the local university who just hopped on a gym mattress.
      Back then, that did it for me. Ever seen the Mahrishi levitating? They teach you pseudoscience, I have been one of the aspiring teachers, and I recommend a lot, a lot of caution…..

    2. steveo, the siddha techniques consist in meditating with your mantra for a short time and then thinking the sutras of Patanjali – just as they can be found on the net – in the same way as you think of the matra. Bam! Superpower! :-))
      caution, caution, caution…..
      A physician from Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center in Boston has extracted the useful and scientifically proven part of TM and explained it in his book “The relaxation response”. I know that the Hindu philosophy of Maharishi is quite interesting and you can find that in Deepak Chopra, who is simply preaching a westernized, commecialized version of what the Maharishi says.
      Spend some time on this, but do not expect life changing results. Contemporary psychology and e.g. NLP and stylelife.com is by far better in achieving real life results

    3. For a detailed description of TM and it’s not readily apparent, but significant dangers, see the website “suggestibility.org” by a former TM teacher.
      Examples of mantras, which are given out according to age:
      aing 18 – 19 years old
      aim 20 – 21
      ainga 22 – 23
      aima 24 – 25
      shirim 26 – 29

      the worst effect for me was that I believed that relaxation alone would lead to more intelligence, creativity, efficiency and achievement – complete bogus as I now know – Yet, this is a belief that turned out to be hard to eradicate. I still believe in some way that “relaxation” is very helpful and try to evade action.
      And you need to be active to achieve anything in life!

      1. cheers for the advice my man…but relax..lol..like i say im not really into everything behind it.. ijust found it a nice way to quiet my mind and rejuvinate and think creatively and the benefits have been amazing for me….at the end of the day you are sitting on your own for 20mins, the rest is all you

        1. Thanks, Steveo, now I feel better.
          But be aware that the Maharishi people work very hard and very professionally at reeling you in, promising “cosmic consciousness”, “God consciousness” “Unity consciousness”, sidhi techniques that supposedly make you superhuman and much much more…little step by little step, one weekend course and one meeting in the meditation center at a time…
          As I said, I wasted 6 years and in the end had nothing but a bad taste in my mouth. Don’t let it happen to you!
          Your German

          1. stay away of TM and maharishi’s ‘hindu philosophy’. it has nothing to do with hinduism or yogis spirityality. And yes meditation can lead to many mental improvements and stuff but TM is more like brainwashing/hypnosis.

            anyone interested in meditation i recommend to just google vippasana or zazen meditation. these are the simplest meditation techniques with no rists unlike some. and they are free 😉

            another thing, meditation is not relaxation, its much more about awareness, concentration and introspection. i higly recommend it to anyone no matter youre goals.

  16. “Deep and Simple” by Bo Lozoff. It is just as the title eludes only a 100 or so pages, large font, brilliant insight into how we are all connected and why we should not forget why that is important in our daily lives. Order from HKF(Human Kindness Foundation)or if you find yourself in trouble with the law and have to serve time mail your name and location to HKF Prison Ashram Project and they will send you it for free

  17. I was thinking about The Definitive Book of Body Language by Allan and Barbara Pease while I was reading the post, but it’s already included. A must read book, it’s like The Bible of body language. Mindworks: An Introduction to NLP by Anne Linden is also a useful book.
    I should definitely check out the other ones that Neil listed.

  18. 1. the game
    2. mystery methode
    3. rules of the game
    4. the laws of winners: success and a fulfilling life ( Bodo Schäfer )
    5. Delicious Sex ( Gael Greene )

    nice to see the interest on / in the inner circle …

    … remains steadfast

    * All for the Ladies *

    1. I’d recommend “A Guide for the Perplexed” by E F Schumacher. Although written by someone who has strong religious views, which I do not, I have to say that he opened my mind up to a different way of thinking.

      He has some great arguments against a purely scientific view of the world. For example, for something to be “real” it should be measureable and quantifiable from a scientific viewpoint. However, can you measure emotions? Would you say that you know they exist?

      He talks about the different levels of being, from inanimate matter to self aware humans and the others inbetween and makes a case for there being higher levels which we don’t yet know about.

      At times a little hard going, but thought provoking all the same.

  19. “Your life: why it is the way it is and what you can do about it” by Bruce MacArthur

    Paul Solomon – one of the greatest psychics of recent times said the Huna religion is the purest religion left in the world. So “Mastering your Hidden Self” by Serge King about Huna is also one of my favorites

  20. The game changer my mentor shared with me is “Bonding” by Donald Joy. 3 reasons why:
    1) It resolved the dissonance I felt about evol. psych.
    2) It made me realize I had rationalized being a “sexual predator”
    3) Learning about meekness – perhaps the most powerful quality one can possess
    WARNING do not read “Bonding” unless you are reasonable & open-minded.
    Also essential “Re-Bonding” by Joy

    1. Hmm, any book accompanied by a warning automatically piques my
      interest. Going to look this one up for more information, and probably
      add it to the Order list. Thanks, TimG. Great recommendations overall,
      guys. You hit up many of the other books I also read…

      1. Thanks Neil. I issue the warning because it is a Christian based book & I presumed that many people in this group would not be open to it. If Christianity or the idea of it isn’t someone’s cup of tea I understand & that’s ok. I wasn’t open to it at one point but I’m learning more about it.
        If there existed a christian PUA guru & if he were to write a book, it would be “Bonding”.
        This book shed light in many areas I felt the seduction community left unanswered.

        Of course I also issued the warning to pique interest (wonder who I might have learned that from NEIL?…)

  21. – A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle

    – Tao Te Ching by Lao Tsu.

    The first one opened the door of spiritual thinking to me and the second one is a classic (like the bible of taoism, but very short and very profound).

    Tao Te Ching will be much better understood after reading A New Earth.

    I think much of the game (and life) philosopy is inspired in taoism teachings and these two are a “must read” on the subject.

    1. I am almost embarrassed to confess that reading “The Game” has very profoundly influenced my reading – it completely changed my direction and has led to many new discoveries, most of which are mentioned here.
      Besides The Game I felt that the most influential books were “The Four Hour Work Week” which brought up the possibilities of outsourcing, and using the possibilities of the internet for business and the idea to extricate yourself from the business. I loved Ferriss’ idea of dumping the whole “time management”.
      A very nice summary of most self help ideas around these days is Jack Canfield “The Success Principles”, I could add this to my most influential books.
      A potential big impact also from “eat that frog”…
      Overall, Thank you Neil, I love your Style!

      1. Hey German, I will admit alongside with you. Upon reading the game two years ago, my thrive for increasing my knowledge and myself as a person has increased as well.

        Over my childhood years I was a HARDCORE gamer, I still am a gamer, but now after reading “The Game” I have found that I am more interested in improving my personal qualities and continually learning new things, such as guitar, to put my body as a whole over the top! I HATED reading as a child, now I enjoy it (not love it).

        Kudos to Neil Strauss. I strongly believe he has changed the lives of MANY men out there in the world. In more good ways than bad.

    2. do you have any advice or tips for girls to get a guy in-particular to think she is attractive again once she has already made herself out too look like the “Crazy Girlfriend” by the way do guys like crazy? even just a little or do we goota keep it cool all the time?

      1. I like a bit of crazy if it’s wrapped up in your own world crazy. Like I know a girl who didnt text me back for weeks, turns out her clothes and phone got stolen while she was skinny dipping in Barcelona, instead of being in school. Loved her

      2. they hate texters trust me im the queen- jiust text your gay friends, do not ytext guys you like the trick is to write DONT TEXT on the address next to the guy you like- i to topally works- remember hes just gonna hate you if you send more than 4 lines , or hell think your that person in the texts and not actually miss your sweet ass.

  22. I noticed you said on the ‘master your hidden self’ by King, you said “ex marine.” I would like for you to know that us Marines are not ex, but former. Marines get alittle butt hurt like I did when people say it wrong. lol. Call me motivated, I still remain dedicated.

  23. “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle has been the most important book for me.

    Has anyone read both Tolle and King? I’d be interested to see how they compare, but I’m not interested enough to actually read “Mastering Your Hidden Self” yet; I find it hard to believe it could be as good.

    1. Dear Neil or anyone that could help me:
      In my opinion, public speaking is a very beautiful skill, that I lack of tremendously.. I personally admire the men of the poeple, and I’m sure that women value this. Not just for that, this skill is a MAJOR plus to the career. So is there any bible or book about this particularly skill set?
      I’m far from shy when it comes to people and groups of peoples, but when it comes to public speaking… let’s just say that I prefer to sky dive… hahahahah

      Thanks a lot Neil and everyone, nice job on the circle btw.

      A true friend from Brazil,
      Lucas Reis.

      1. Hey Lucas, I’m not sure of any particular titles but I would suggest a public speaking class if you can afford it. What’s good about this is that you will be able to put whatever you learn into practice as you go along. You will be able to test your skills in front of class mates, which is cool because everyone there is in the same boat as you so it’s a great start. I hope this helps.

      2. Hey Lucas, i was really nervous when it came to speaking in public. It was really a torture for me to speak in public – large groups and small groups. I would be visibly nervous, shaking, sweaty palms the lot.
        I decided that i would conquer this fear no matter what it takes and signed up to a crash course in comedy and storytelling. In a very short space of time, i went from being unbelievably nervous to actual really enjoying and looking forward to the buzz of public speaking.

        In my opinion, you wont learn much from a book. Jump into the deep end. Sign up to a crash course where you will be forced to speak in public. Practice, Practice, Practice!

      3. Second the opinion about public speaking/comedy classes. Through a series of easy exercises a good tutor will put you in front of the audience within one class. And you won’t hesitate a moment speaking in front of them. Experienced it myself.

  24. The Six Pillars of Self Esteem is great… it’s broken down simply and Branden has interesting things to say about ‘living with purpose’ which for me I would like to do more.

    Some of my own recommendations aren’t self-help or how-to books but contain lessons and examples of how life can be lived and improved that could therefore translate into more success with women, I suppose…

    They are…

    Imperium by Robert Harris (a biography in the guise of a novel).

    Steve McQueen: Portrait of an American Rebel by Marshall Terrill.


    1. Agreed – ‘The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem’ has really helped me and the technique described (writing stem sentence – pondering on an idea by repeatedly answering a question in writing over a longer period of time) is really fantastic for absorbing new material and ideas.

      I have recently finished ‘Bounce’ by Matthew Syde, a former british table tennis pro on the overrated believe in talent – its a very inspiring eye opener and fantastic to be scientifically proven that you can achieve anything you want with dedicated training over a long period of time.


  25. Hey Neil, could you please suggest a good book on Alexander technique as well? From where did you learn it?

  26. Argh. I need to LOG IN just to access a single blog entry — about books?

    Neil, I love your books, and your blog. But in the weeks between your blog entries I forget my login information, and your blog forgets to keep me logged in. It’s WAY too much effort for the reward (i.e., merely the rest of the blog entry that wasn’t in the email).

    Please reconsider these massively overdone security measures. It’s a BLOG!

    1. @TravisB — The site should remember your login info from visit to visit (unless you delete your cookies). Feel free to email me at straussbooks(@)gmail.com with your browser type and version number and I’d be happy to troubleshoot the issue.

  27. I got a LOT out of The Mating Mind by Geoffrey Miller (which came by recommendation from David D’Angelo. The gist is very simple – male achievement – the creation of things that benefit the tribe – is the equivalent of peacock feathers. Brains, know-how, and the ability to muster others to the cause are why human males don’t have pretty colors to attract mates, they have bodies of work.

    1. Will have to read that, TT. Another interesting book David D recommends as a cocky/funny key is Comedy Writing Secrets: How to Think Funny, Write Funny, Act Funny and Get Paid For It by Melvin Helitzer. Bought it a while back, but never read it. Let me know if any of you have…

      1. I just finished Geoffrey Miller’s other book, Spent. It’s not specifically about evolutionary attraction factors like Mating Mind, but focuses on consumerism and why we buy or don’t buy certain things as a form of signaling to the opposite sex. Slightly related, if for no other reason than to remind us why it’s bad to try and impress a woman with expensive gifts early on in the relationship.

      2. Comedy Secrets is great: it breaks down the elements that make a joke, the anticipation and punchline for example. It then offers an overview in the different themes of comedy and how the incorporate the elements in flexible ways. Would not recommend reading this as a how-to guide, but it’s insightful and a good read.

      3. yes, i did.
        well… it describes techniques how to write jokes and stand-up routines.
        to me it seems like the same effect when you figure out a trick by a magician … u loose the magic.

      4. I read Comedy Writing Secrets a long time ago. I thought there was some good stuff in there. It helped me to better understand the psychology behind why people laugh.

      5. Neil, there is a book called “Zen and the art of standup comedy”. This book is out of print but it is a great book on comedy writing. Wayne Elise rightfully
        gives this book very high recommendation. You might want to look in to that.

      6. Comedy writing secrets is a great book if you want to crack jokes. But if you want to create comic characters and write stories or make your story interesting I prefer ”the comic toolbox” by john vorhaus(his name itself is a pun,”whorehouse”). The book is more of how to book unlike comedy writing secrets that gives examples of jokes in an explaining manner.

  28. The most powerful self-improvement tool I’ve found is the concept of the self-image. it has taught me that:

    1. beneath self-esteem there is something called the self-image which is the foundation of the first.

    2. No amount of willpower can truly change bad habits. The self-image has to change first, everything else follows.

    3. The self-image exerts powerful hypnotism on our behavior. A poor self-image induces auto-sabotage, making us our own worst enemies.

    4. The self-image can heavily restrain our capabilities or it can free us to unlimited abundance.

    5. The power of imagination is the most direct way to reprogram our self-image. The Brain has an automatic mechanism for success, but only a healthy self-image can let us tap into that unlimited power.

    The concept is in the book Psychocybernetics, by Maxwell Maltz. I’ve found the technique in it so utterly effective it borderlines on brain-hacking. It made me a force to be reckoned with in my field of work (applied arts and illustration). I merged this with the mystery method and went from having zero interactions with women to amassing two hundred phones in 6 months, dating multiple women at once and finding a GREAT girlfriend in less than a year.

    1. “The Moral Animal” by Robert Wright. Darwinism applied (namely) to Darwin’s life. Fascinating book! I’m not sure about my game, but it definitely had an impact on me and the way I see human interaction. Sort of the same way Sperm Wars did (which, at the time, had been recommended by Amazon after I had ordered The Moral Animal).

    2. Psychocybernetics: great book! I need to re-read that book, and consider adding it as the “also recommended” book after 6 Pillars of Self-Esteem. Good call, Zaiten.

  29. I know I’m kind of breaking the rules here – but here’s a book that just moved to the top of my reading list.

    Super Rich by Russell Simmons

    I haven’t actually read it yet. I just watched the Russell Simmons interview on ustream (you can find it here: http://www.ustream.tv/recorded/13500948).

    The interview was incredibly inspiring and fits in well with concepts such as “inner game” and “needing nothing.”

    Here’s a recommendation that I’ve actually read that’s also made a huge impact in my life:

    Man and His Symbols by C.G. Jung

    – This book paints a vivid picture of how the subconscious mind’s helps us find creative solutions to life’s challenges.

    – Ian

  30. The Art of Seduction is indeed a great one. I’m there’s a title on ESP included on here, I was wondering which one I should pick up. Also I think books by Leil Lowndes are great and have helped me out as far as socialization and game. Undercover Sex Signals is a good one and Goodbye to Shy was one that reaped much benefit from.

    1. One I haven’t seen posted yet is Sex At Dawn by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha. It could have also been called the less catchy Everything You Know about Evolutionary Psychology is Wrong.

      It is about Evo Psych and Anthropology so there is a little technical stuff but it’s still a popular science book and very engaging. The basic premise is that most of sciences theories on human sexuality and human evolutionary psychology stem from research on Chimpanzees. They make the case, and a very good one I think, that chimpanzee’s cousins the bonobos are actually our closer ape relatives and that we may share common strategies to sex. Aside from humans, bonobos are the most sexual of any mammals. They literally say hello with sex, settle arguments with sex, and many other social functions are transacted with sex.

      It’s definitely worth a read for anyone interested in human sexuality and its psychology.

  31. I’m a new comer to the Game. I haven’t read a lot of material but a book i can recommend is the happiness habit by brian colbert. A really excellent book.

  32. I have a feeling reading these books, and then reading “The Game” again, wil only further help you understand it. This is a good post. You reference alot of books in “The game” but its extremely nice to have a list. RIGHT ON

  33. ‘The Definitive Guide To Body Language’ offers a fantastic insight on how to convey yourself as an alpha male to others but also how to recognise micro-expressions and body-language signals that reveal if a woman is attracted to you or not.

    1. I second “The Definitive Book of Body Language
      Book by Barbara Pease and Allan Pease”.
      It’s fun to read with great real-life examples (politicians etc…).

  34. The Voice of Knowledge: A Practical Guide to Inner Peace and The Four Agreements. These books rocked my world. They have totally changed my inner game.  They made me more confident, quieted my inner judge and kicked my self doubt in the ass. Combine these with The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem  and you are golden.  Get the audio books and listen to them on repeat for a day.  You will be shocked At what happens.

  35. Thank you Neil, Pheobe, the Sneak, Gypsy, and
    all the fine folks at SLA & Inner Circle…

    First time logged in on the new inner website.
    fantastic work Neil and all who made it happen!
    I have some trepidation about on-line
    interaction in general – perhaps, this will
    be the place I can shed that skin and root
    out that uneasiness.

    I want to keep my first post brief. Perhaps,
    It’s no exaggeration that I read a lot of Neil’s
    work and I consider his writing to be
    practical idealism of the first degree. Presently
    reading 5 books – 2/3 rds the way thru
    ELYWYD and am following Neil’s advice to
    read it sequentially – I think that’s the way
    to go… he’s weaving a tapestry of artistic
    tones and colors that flow like good music
    when you go on order… As a musician as well
    who has met and played w/ couple of the folks
    in it, I am savoring everyword.

    Neil is a signpost to new awakenIngs, and
    pretty much everything he has suggested
    reading I have… Prolly safe to say, I learned
    more in the 884 pages of the Robert Greene
    classics than from two college degrees
    combined. In addition, watching all the movies
    he suggested in “the Game” was highly
    helpful as well. I love all the old movies like
    Casablanca & Morrico & Gilda & Love is a many splendored thing…
    since I quit TV and Pot 3 years ago,
    I’ve been devouring more books and
    going thru the AFI 100 greatest movies
    of all time…
    Anything with Greta Garbo especially floors me!
    — I believe we can learn a lot from
    romcoms as well…they’re not just chickflicks..
    one recent one I would highly recommend for
    all guys, is “how to lose a guy in 10 days”
    … great stuff and little levity now and then is
    important, IMHO.

    One book that is helping me recover from
    the most passionate love affair that – like
    a shooting star – burned across the night
    sky so brightly and then poof… it was gone.
    We both agreed it was the best sex of our
    lives. But as Neil told me when we met in Brookline
    MA at a book signing and asked him “what is
    the difference between a love affair with great sex
    and a relationship, he paused pensively, smiled and
    said “the first is based on passion, the second
    is based on intimacy.” makes so much sense–
    I definitely confused great sex w/ intimacy. I still
    believe they need not be mutually exclusive
    but in most cases, certainly this one, u can
    end up getting Ur heart handed to you on a platter
    which, btw, isn’t necessarily a bad thing.
    it was a lesson I needed to learn as my
    “game” developed… anyway, I digress, but
    I want to say the first book on Neil’s suggested
    reading for u’s in the inner circle “the six pillars
    of self esteem by Nathaniel Branden is
    truly helpful like Serge King’s “Huna” book. I will share a line
    which really crystalizes everything Nathaniel
    talks about. On page 27, after breaking up
    self esteem into two primary components: self-efficacy
    and self-respect, he writes: ” self-esteem is
    the disposition to experience oneself as competent
    to cope with the basic challenges of life and
    as worthy of happiness…” IMHO, that’s a
    line worth memorizing and internalizing on
    visceral level…
    Sorry my post is longer than I intended but in
    closing, I’d like to say it’s an honor and
    privilege to be a little part of the great
    Neil Strauss’ inner circle.

    Nova Blue
    Somewhere outside of Boston MA

    ” …Love’s fire heats water, but water
    doesn’t cool love…”
    — William Shakespeare’s final line of his final
    Love Sonnet 154 (1594)

    1. Completely agree, Nova Blue. The line from Branden’s book that you quoted stuck out for me as well. I love Nathaniel Branden’s book due to its amazing clarity – it is phantastic how he takes self esteem apart into its components and makes it clear, understandable and very, very accessible. And practical to handle. Have only done the sentence completion exercises for a few days now, but it feels promising. I am still in the Inner Game part in SLA and this is a very welcome add on.
      Finding The Huna Way on the list of Neil’s recommendations surprised me. It must have required a bit of courage to put it on the list, but it is very religion neutral and claims to have a very practical approach as well “whatever works for you is fine”. I just doubt that I will be able to sway wind and rain if I study Huna. The philosophy is quite appealing though, helps unify religion and new age into one compact package, helps place everything under one umbrella. Very appealing. I always thought that fights between religions were ridiculous, not just because, ….but here I am going off into a very complex area….stop….
      I believe the “garden visualizations” can be helpful. And the links to and association with hypnosis area clear. I assume Neil heard about the Huna way from Hypnotica, just a thought…
      and again,. thank you Neil for your wonderful recommendations. Hard to truly express my gratitude, really life changing in a great way!

    2. NO it wasnt to long it was the best post so far- i got dumped over it becoming too intimate- and it was seriously not a hes just not that into you thing- im not retarded- in any way on that front- see bartender- dead fish dont keep bait, but this wasnt that- we stopped having sex it was getting ‘too intimate’ and indeed it was, anymore and we would get married or something insane. i was kinda cool w going somewhere and making casserioles for him when he comes around, for a mo, buyt never again,. thats a rare man. and we only live once , dude served up an entitre xteen yrs in a marriage w kids- as rhett says to scarlett’ why dont you try it for fun fucker, with a wo/man who has a way w wo/men and just marry for FUN’ but then it was gonna happen if it kept up and he got scared in retrospect i think its the right thing, 2 cripples do not a walking person make- of hes not a sociopath well end up together. otherwise pffft. i got my own shit to deal w .

    3. sorry i rsponded to the german i mean that post to reply to you nova right under this post sorry im a luddite clc

    4. what is self efficacy? i dont get it nova? and i dont want ot read the whole book i got so many backlogged.

  36. One of the best things I’ve done lately!!! I recommend following the instructions and get The Six Pillars of Self Esteem on audio and follow up with a paper copy. I was pleasantly surprised to find out a lot about myself through this book.

  37. I actually made the mistake of buying the wrong “Influence” book. What’s the difference between the two?

  38. I love the “Six Pillars of Self Esteem” – it is perfect for my present point in evolution! Just what the doctor ordered….
    Thank you again, Neil…

  39. I’m kinda glad I’m not a fast reader cause I’d read way too much for what I can put in practice or absorb. My “to read” pile of books is getting bigger though.

    One book that surprisingly contains a lot of great material was 4 Hour Work Week by Timothy Ferriss, at first it looks more like a business oriented book, which it is, but I’d definitely recommend it to anyone who wishes to transform their lives in any ways. The process of reframing parts of your life is the same.

    1. exactly, this book by Tim Ferriss stands out by giving a lot , truly a lot of information. I love that. Tim Ferriss is doing the exact opposite of Kiyosaki with his “Rich Dad, Poor Dad”-where he blabbers on endlessly without giving any detail nor any useful info….

  40. i only heard about The Game a month ago, needless to say i read it and enjoyed it a lot. Now i’m on the second day of the ‘Stylelife Challenge’ and i shall start reading the books on the list very soon.. i do have a question though; i know The Game mentions people from all over the world practicing and learning the Game, but being from New Zealand i’m wondering if there are any here?. would be great to meet them.


  41. Neil, a burning question that is not addressed in The Game nor in any other book that I have read: How do you end a relationship, even a short one, without crying, insults, attempt of making you feel guilty etc? After all, if you have 100 conquests/partners/etc, you will have to have ended about 90 “relationships”…..
    thanks for answering….


  42. good book list!But have these books translated in Chinese or not? I’m China student, I like reseach thses problems.

    1. Welcome. Let us know if you find any in Chinese. Getting lots of emails from China, so would be good to add those as resources.

  43. I just read EVERYONE LOVES YOU WHEN YOU’RE DEAD and there are some points in there that pertain to The Game, especially the interviews where the celebs show their weakest and darkest sides of themselves. My point being that we all have a pile of shit to deal with no matter how rich and famous (or not) we are and all we can do is keep moving forward deal with it the best we can. This means gaining ground with women, sex and love as well.

    I’ll write more but I have to go have lunch with my aunt.

  44. “How to win friends and influence people” by Dale Carnegie. This book will make you wake up everyday with a smile in your face and improve your interactions with people, friends, family, etc. Not a book about pick up, I believe, Neil, you have probably read that one.

  45. The Lammark Forum and any of there materials like Like Powerfully. It’s based on Landmark Forum and let’s face it many of the inner game gurus have probably taken a Landmark course especially since it existed before NLP or before the movie The Secret came out. Landmark was the underground movement that created much of the modern day personal growth movement and trigger words you hear today. And Pickup extracted a ton from personal growth.

  46. The Game, of course….currently reading it for the third time to jump start myself out of the doldrums. Amazing how a book that on the surface is about picking up women can so profoundly inspire personal transformation. 4-Hour Work Week has a lot of great motivational stuff in it…”Action doesn’t necessarily bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action.” Can’t believe only one Tony Robbins mention in here. Awaken the Giant Within is one of the bibles! “It’s not the events of our lives that shape us, but our beliefs as to what those events mean.” That’s gold Jerry, gold.



  48. Thank you Internet, you are all awesome people. I just spent half an hour going through the list below me while copy pasting authors and titles into the national library search index.

    Note to self, bring a wheel barrow next time you visit the library. I find it interesting how many of them had a few weeks of wait listed. I suppose I’m not the only looking for good books q:

    As for a recommendation, I have a quirky book that may or may not be difficult to find depending on where you are.

    Prometheus Rising, Robert Anton Wilson.

    Okay, so a lot of it is “counter cultural” strangeness and when read today, a good 24 years and counting after it was published, it can get remarkably weird. But the main core of the book remains, like quite a few recommendations on this list, that managing your own brain and your own internal self or systems or thoughts or what have you, is very important and one of the most worthwhile things you’ll ever get done.
    Take it with a smile and enjoy the crazy, you’ll find that quite a lot of it (concepts like the importance of reducing internal anxiety, being able to feel safe, group behaviour, how gurus work, cults) is echoed in many self development books of today.

    The Naked Ape, Desmond Morris.
    Think of it as a zoologists guide to humanity. It’s an amusing read, but it also helps point out a few things about general human behaviour and its quirks. Someone else recommended D. Morris’ book “Peoplewatching”, which I can soundly agree with.

    I’d also very much recommend Jared Diamond’s “Guns, Germs and Steel” and Bill Brysons “A Short History of Nearly Everything”, not because they relate ‘specifically’ to the Game, survival, social dynamics, self development or internal states, but because they help you tremendously in gaining that much sought after perspective. And quite a lot of it is useful to randomly know when you’re conversing with people.

    Also, books by Paul Ekman, “Telling Lies” and “Emotions Revealed”. They help you improve general communication and understanding of the people around you. Not strictly speaking “body language” books, but still very useful.

    Napoleon Hill, The Laws of Success in Sixteen Lessons.
    A little old, what with being published in 1928, but much like Dale Carnegie’s HTWFAIP (That’s a long acronym) it’s still very much applicable today. I’m fairly confident this was the book he published ‘before’ Think And Grow Rich.

    And after Googling it, you don’t even need to go buy it.

    That’s what crops up at the top of my mind. All the best.

  49. Awareness by Anthony De Mello helped me embody disassociation and detachment from the exterior world, not wanting or needing anything in this life because you are already self-fulfilled!

  50. For the Robert Greene fans I highly recommend the 50th Law. I was skeptical because it was a collaboration with 50 Cent, but the it has definitely had a powerful effect on me. Its less about specific rules or techniques and more about developing a fearless mindset. As usual its points are illustrated using stories about historical figures.

    Secondly there is Overachievement by John Eliot. I’m a little bias because it draws from sport psychology which is my field, but its packed full of examples and methods being exceptional through exceptional thinking. Its great material for inner game, and really illustrates the idea living in your own reality, which I had heard about a lot in the community, but never heard an explanation that satisfied me.

    by Robin Skynner and John Cleese(yes,the
    monty python guy)

    The book is written as a series of conversations
    between the two men dealing on various subjects,
    including what separates happy people from
    unhappy, positive & negative aspects of personality,
    family life,relationships-lots of stuff,really.

    I found it by chance once for one buck,
    and picked it up ´cause it had a funny title.

    It sat on my shelf for a long time before I
    read it and wished I had done so earlier.

    Depending on your background and way of thinking,
    you could find something useful.
    Especially if you are interested in how the
    way a family functions might affect their

    1. @Neil Do you think after this has all died down you could put together another suggested reading list with all the books you think are epic/or in fact just seem to have a strong following even if you think they are shit?


  52. I am reading two of the books that were recommended her and I like them a lot.
    1. Psychocybernetics – excellent, lays out much of the ideas that resurface in NLP
    2. Overachievment by John Eliot. Very surprising statements that seem to run contrary to popular self help credos – he does NOT recommend to “relax” for example. He mentions the “Trusting Mindset” as opposed to the “Training Mindset”. The training mindset uses thinking about what you do, how to achieve it, it checks on how you are doing etc. The Trusting Mindset lets go of all this and is in the moment. Reminded me of what Neil said about how he does interviews – before the interview he reads his questions over and over and studies them and thnks about them, then he tucks the list away and goes in for the interview. That is an exact example of the “trusting mndset”.
    First you practice, you work hard at it, then you perform, and while you perform, you let go and don’t think about it anymore.
    Maltz says something similar in his psychocybernetics….
    Overachievement seems a great great book….

    1. Maybe it’s a bit off topic:
      Neil, do you know anything about the new version of “Rules of the Game” that has yet to be published?
      You mentioned a couple of months ago…
      And by the way, it shoulnd’t be off-topic since the topic of the post it’s seduction-related books…


      1. Flipnosis is brilliant but there isn’t alot in there that isn’t also in Influence, but it’s certainly worth a read.

  53. and, “The Atist’s Way” which is a bit spiritual, but it does work! And it might have inspired you to a few elements in Stylelife – limiting beliefs at the start for example….
    The Artists Way is not about seduction, but about unblocking your creativity, your “flow”, which is something I needed and which is at the basis of good seduction. Without creative flow you become a social robot, with creative flow you become a pick up *Artist*.
    The other book that is worthwhile is Seth Godin “Poke the Box” which can be summarized in “GO, DO IT”. Even if you can summarize it in scuh a short formula it is worth reading, it’s a quick read anyway.

  54. I’m enjoying “Plato’s Podcasts: The Ancient’s Guide to Modern Living”. Why? There are times when we are driven to dig deep, to think about how we live, and, what it is to flourish. Great wisdom is timeless, whether it’s Plato’s love of conversation at his academy, or, Pyrrho’s emphasis on suspending disbelief and putting words in practice. The ancient philosophers pioneered and inspired self-improvement as a way of life, long before that phrase had any meaning, because there wasn’t any other way of life.

  55. Awesome! Thanks so much. I’ve been looking for some new audio books I can listen to while ay work. This will keep my mind occupied….

    1. I agree, Megadirt.
      However, I thought that “flipnosis” was more fun to read than “influence”. The contents certainly overlap, though.
      On a sidenote : “flipnosis” gets bonus points for mentioning “the game” 🙂

    1. I would also suggest “the power of less” by Leo Babauta.
      Since too much information on anything can easily turn you into an info junkie and since too many goals at the same time can work against you…

  56. On your point about reading books about evolution, I am half way through Dale Peterson The Moral Lives of Animals. He goes into evolutionary reasons about why we operate cooperatively with many fascinating examples such as, dolphins recognizing ownership, chimp cannibals, sexual concealment, deceit and others. Humanizing really.

    1. Great thread. I love learning about new books. Here’s two new ones for self improvement:

      Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

      Talks about flow as a state of mind, a way of being completely immersed with your reality and truly finding happiness. There are some amazing feats of human mental capabilities like a prisoner of war using his subconscious to create an 18 hole round of golf to keep his brain active since he has little flow experience in a cell. When he gets out, he plays a round of golf and has a great game. The mind is truly amazing.

      Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by
      Carol Dweck
      good book about improving ones life and others through growth experience and use of the growth mindset. I’ll definitely be reading this book again when I have children.

      1. I second TheAlphaOmega’s recommendation of Mindset: The New Psychiology of Success by Carol Dweck. Awesome book, that really illustrates that the willingness to fail and experience temporary setbacks is the key to positive development.

  57. Neil (or StyleLife crew),

    Could you maybe recommend books solid on sexuality and techniques? While I’m no novice, I’m always interested in learning more and/or better methods. Someone in these comments recommended “She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman”, but reading the reviews on Amazon, those who are novices seem to enjoy it, while those who have some knowledge don’t think it’s worthwhile.

    Thanks for your help.


  58. Recently discovered two books that have helped me more than many others
    Barbara Sher: “I could do anything if I just knew what it was” and “Wishcraft”. I found indirectly through you – you had recommended Julia Cameron “The Artist’s Way” and Barbara was one of the teachers that had helped Julia. Barbara Sher is outstanding at allowing you to figure out what you really want in life – which has been bugging me for a long time. I consider this a most important issue in Inner Game, since it defines the principal direction and makes the difference between “marking time” and “Living life with enthusiasm and to the fullest and having an adventure”. I got a lot closer to getting up in the morning and looking forward to the day….worth reading and worth doing the exercises

  59. I recommend The Master Key System by Charles Haanel and Science of Getting Rich by Wallace Wattles in addition to Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill and The Game by Neil Strauss; These are great self-help books which help everyone develop a solid Superior Winner Personality which is Unrivaled in Success of any kind including Seduction.

    1. P.S.: The interesting thing about these books is that the mere act of reading them without taking Any Action makes you a far better person by programming your inner voice (subconscious mind).

  60. I have to go with the Art of Seduction. Getting numbers was never an issue for me. Approaching was always a fun game before I ever heard of pick up artists. Robert Greene’s book gave me a much better insight into personality types and what to expect. I actually first read it for fun before discovering how surprisingly accurate it was. Actually, I initially read The Game because I heard it was a good narrative.

    As far as other books, I recommend How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie and Persuasion in Society by Herbert W. Simons. The former is the classic schmooze book that restates ideas that everyone knows but few completely follow which should be no-brainers for meeting people. The latter is a textbook that covers a number of areas very well that are quite applicable to this area. It’s really for the more cerebral pua.

    1. too much nonsense in that book and also the classifications are fucked up and totally silly- im star im a baby im a god im a clown im a mom im a dad fuck this- its all silly- some of the stories are good – i got crowd seduction down i just need good spin bwaaha thatbook is pover[ackaged, and pretty but it aint 48 laws of power sorry. i think tis higwash gotta say it its pretty! read mating intellect- its fucked up and brutal as stated- not nice. but honest.

  61. I recommend “The Prince” by Nicolo Macchiavelli. Possibly the best book ever written and it was written in 1512. Gets you beyond the politics to the base impulses of human beings. You will read it and keep saying to yourself “that’s is just what happened last year with _____” 500 years later.

    The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin is awesome for self analysis and improvement over your lifetime. and written in 1780-ish. true evergreen content.



  62. 10X by Grant Cardone is a great book! It’s all about what it takes to be successful in any and all areas of your life. Summed up: do 10 times (hence the x) what the average person does and see what type of success will come…

  63. Hey guys quik question,
    Have any of yall read Daniel Goleman’s
    “social intelligence”?
    Is it any good?

    1. me n micko are in the narcisistis t mach chepater now its really well writren the secret book i have strauss is ‘ mating itellect and its academic but its fucking brilliant- the lcd is schizophrenia the hcd is status- it is huger end pscyh- such as conscientiousness/nueroisis/ agreeableness/ extroversion- works for men but is ultimately nothing compared to the

  64. The Art of Seduction, and 48 laws of power by Robert Greene is really good.. you guys should try reading it.,when i bought the book the rules of the game. i wonder if robert greene was an influence to neil but through this page Ive confirmed it.AND FOR A FEMALE POINT OF VIEW, THIS REALLY WORKS 🙂

  65. Just recently read The Game and had several “a – ha” moments while reading. Inspiring book!!! Then read Mystery Method and really liked it. I’m a statistician and Mystery’s diagrams and sequential way of explaining things really appealed to me.

    Only books that came close to these 2 were Awaken the Giant Within by Tony Robbins and 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey.

    1. me n micko are in the narcisistis t mach chepater now its really well writren the secret book i have strauss is ‘ mating itellect and its academic but its fucking brilliant- the lcd is schizophrenia the hcd is status- it is huger end pscyh- such as conscientiousness/nueroisis/ agreeableness/ extroversion- works for men but is ultimately nothing compared to the 1 aphrodesiac- creativity thats in one of the graphs- its genius/ but its not polite its very brutal.

  66. The Game was a great eye opener for me and a great lead in – to what I now expect of myself and how I plan to achieve my goals. I have since recently bought all of the books from this list (and many more; including ELYWYD and Rules of the Game). I was reading Mastering Your Hidden Self, however I have decided to postpone finishing it until I’ve completed reading The Red Queen.
    MYHS is a great book for understanding yourself and how to get the most of your mind(s). My realization though is that Red Queen is going to reveal more about the mechanics and basis for who I am and what really drives me. I expect this will change how I feel about what I want to achieve and my perspectives on how to do so. “Nature” first, then “nurture” .. Great stuff!

  67. The Talent Code – Daniel Coyle

    This book has so many possible applications. It looks at talent development in music, tennis, baseball, basketball, coaching, and I’m sure I am forgetting one or two others. But it’s principles are, I think, sound in all fields. I now politely disagree (attempt politeness; probably comes across as just disagreeable) with people that say Tiger Woods has some god given ability. It really comes down to the countless hours he spent in his youth practicing his trade.

    I think It references a principle in Malcolm Gladwell’s Outliers about needing 10,000 hours of your chosen activity to develop some mastery of it.

  68. Neil sir…i m new here….nd like to gain knowledged here….i want to become a PUA ..this is my dream..

    1. Also new to this site, which I found by looking for some game-related titles to check out. I have not yet read The Game, although I do plan to. I have held off on it because I was told that there actually isn’t all that much game in The Game?! Supposedly there is more “game” in books about the pimp culture, such as Black Players: The Secret World of Black Pimps, by Milner. Can anyone comment on that? I think the answer might be that some people have different ideas on what game means to them.

      I was very surprised to see all of the “self-help” titles on here! I was expecting to see much more along stuff the lines of the Milner book I mentioned above. (And also, of course, stuff like David DeAngelo’s Double Your Dating, etc., etc.)

      Does anyone have any more game (not self-help) titles?
      I did note one above by Richard LaRuina, but did not see much else that was game-related.

  69. ‘Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man.’ Read it in a James Joyce class I took in college. Having grown up religious, it helped illuminate a path to think differently, one where I could be proactive as an artificer of my own destiny instead of deferring to the fallible thinking of a religious institution. This would fall more in the realm of self-improvement, but basically affected all parts of my life.

  70. I came across a workout book that i like a lot and that I (gasp) actually follow now –
    “You are your own gym” -use the body you have to build the body you want.
    by Mark Lauren
    I like it for the following reasons:
    1. the author is a special forces trainer who had ample opportunity to first train himself to complete fitness and then teach others over many years, experiementing with what works and what doesn’t and learning what works best.
    2. The exercises rely on bodyweight, you use your won body as the title says. No expensive equipment to buy – equipment that ends up gathering dust in your house, no gym memberships, nothing. You can practice at home, in a hotel room, or in a hospital call room….
    3. You can make each exercise very easy or very difficult and everything in between, for example, you can do push ups standing and leaning against a wall and pushing yourself away from the wall – easy – or you can, on the other extreme do a handstand, lean your feet against the wall and then do the pushups – very difficult. This is an illustration that one exercise can be adapted to whatever level you just happen to be in fitness.
    4. It trains and exercises all areas of the body, all muscle groups – including balance!
    Would be great addition to the seducer’s library

    1. and, the book not only shows you the exercises, it also puts them together into programs – for beginners, medium and advanced. Can’t do much better than that!

      1. Check out “Convict Conditioning” by Coach Paul Wade. It really has tons of useful information and a step-by-step progam for each workout.

        1. convict conditioning is a great intro to strength training.
          and if you want to go further and develop the strength and body of a gymnast.i reccomend gymnasticbodies.com ‘s foundation courses.

  71. Talking about self-improvement I have to mention the book with the huge title “The Experience of a Fool Who Had An Epiphany About How To Get Rid of His Glasses” by Norbekov. A real eye-opener 🙂

  72. Cold reading is an amazing art. YOU can learn it to amuse the people around you. Added to this, it’s a pretty efficient way to demonstrate higher values.
    If you AGREE, get the book- The Full Facts Book of Cold Reading- YOU won’t regret it.
    Now, when it comes to manipulating a person from his/her body language, I’d LIKE to suggest yet another great book – What every Body is saying.
    Hope you LIKE it. 🙂

      1. What one does when bored in Antarctica…but is also a technique used by pseudo-psychics to convince people that they can “read” their minds, contact deceased family members, etc. In our world, it can also be use quite effectively to create attraction and DHV.

  73. As a young Air Force officer years back, I had to attend a lot of in vogue management courses. Along the way I came across a book called “Gaining Control” by Robert Bennett, the former Utah Senator. IF you find yourself repeating the same life mistakes and getting similar less than ideal results this book my help. It describes how each of us views life through the window of our belief system, and how we act in accordance with those beliefs. Until we know what is written on that belief window we will continue seeing the world and acting in the same way. I believe this book is out of print but can be picked up pretty cheaply now at Amazon. Another book I really enjoyed from years back is “The 10 Natural laws of Successful Time and Life Management” by Hyrum Smith A couple of the few books I reread every few years. Great inner game material

    1. date w destiny tony torbbins i travelled 28 hours to gold coast australia- from london 6 days early to do 6 days w 16 hours w 3000 people and it was fucking sick great worth every fucking moment and penny- tony is a god. amd so isage, i need to do it again and again but i got the grip traction just need two heros and im outta the trouble. but it was amazing.

  74. I’d add The Road Less Travelled…which basically the book that all modern self help books srpung out of and talks about the basic patterns that hold us back form achieving our potential…

    And then there’s Everybody Dies: A Chidren’s Book for Grown Ups

      1. A few of my faves that I don’t think were mentioned here…

        A new favorite called “Pitch Anything” Awesome book!
        Actually mentions Neil Strauss in the back cover.

        Lot’s of killer stuff on framing…

        A few others are-

        -Ogilvy on Advertising

        -Winning through Intimidation (opposite of what the title suggest.

        -The magic of thinking big

        -And We are all weird (or anything by Seth Godin)

        A few of those may not seem to be related here but once you apply it to your own situations etc… you’ll have a lot of profound breakthroughs.

        Thanks for all the awesome recommends

      2. iv read almost all of these on this page but by far the best is jed mckenna 4 books .beware ur brain will explode !

      3. i am not sure if anyone has mentioned it yet since i dont have the time to read through this whole page but, the 48 laws of power by robert greene. This is shaping up to be a great read, alot of different scenarios in there for you to simply take in relation to your situation’s and give you better insight to understanding the different outcomes atleast has proven well for me although not finished it yet, few more chapters.

  75. Feel the Fear…and Do it Anyway by Susan Jeffers

    It’s short and has some practice methods that I found to be helpful.

  76. This is coming from left field, the title alone doesn’t condone a seducer’s training, but getting past the techniques and switchbacks of psyche and conversation, getting to the core of what your ultimate desire looks like, how it tastes, feels, smells, sounds, is clarity. A clear vision, a clear intention, a clear outcome. Come what may with ridicule and snickers, Deepak Chopra’s “The Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire” is not only a quick and comprehensive read, it looks stunning on your bookshelf; the perfect attention getter for that yoga chick you just brought home.

  77. It seems the list has been updated recently. The Definitive Book of Body Language by Allan and Barbara Pease has been replaced with What Every BODY is Saying by Joe Navarro. As I bought (not long ago) every one of these on the list before the update, and came across Mr. Navarro’s book while filling my cart, I now wonder if perhaps I should have gotten Mr. Navarro’s book.
    I think body language hasn’t changed all that much between these two publishings but anyone with the spare time that is willing to send me an opinion on why Mr. Navarro’s should take the spot, and some differences between the two books (perhaps recent research) is welcome to do so. I can only thank you for your efforts. Thank you.
    Among books with the biggest impact on my self-improvement I recommand all the works of Mr. Timothy Ferriss (4-Hour Work Week & 4-Hour Body). Already pre-ordered his latest endeavor, 4-Hour Chef. But surely everyone here has devoured these already, multiple times.


  79. I would highly reccommedn the The Power of Eye Contact: Your Secret for Success in Business, Love, and Life by Michael Ellsberg.

    This is a great book IMO – easy and enjoyable to read and looks at how eye contact can be used in different areas including establishing everyday relationships, dating, work, speaking to a crowd and dealing with aggression amongst others.

    The book includes 5 different easy-to-tryout exercises and you’ll be amazed at how people respond differently to you when you use appropriate eye contact.

    I read this for the first time two years ago and re-read it every six months and it doesnt grow old. If I had to reccommend one book to anybody this would be it – enjoy!

    1. i have thatr book and started it it seems really good- did it work- eye contact has always been my main thing but i noticed i was weak on maintaining it when i get shy and with my platonic hetero male friends. i havent finished it- im very charismatic and ‘saeductive;’ in a pscyh way- eg ever since i was little the shrinks said i was ‘too seductive’ which labelled me- but its not actually true cos i ge girly if theres sex involved, shit i cant even watch a sex scene in a film. i told the guy who wrote everything in Forieghner the other night- hey struass this guy mick jones spent 7 years playing w johnny holliday in paris and played w hendrix plant page and 2 weeks w beatles- so helanded with cut teeth an amazing story- whatever – jukebox hero! and super nice- but i never bought those songs’ hot blooded’ wheniw as a kid cos they were about sex and doors and zepelin freked me out until i was 18 then i liked that stuff- maybe im just stunted. i can hold eye contact in fact i want to- im a genius at it- excpet when things get that intense- then it gets into a too heavy zone and i freak. what was your fave exercise i just skimmed- having been a movie star and that is second nature – you have to seduce alot of people at once with eye contact and be genuinley engeaged thats not a problem for me- i like people i just get flustered if theres sex involved and i wont hit on anyone first- never have and never will thats wierd to you guys but girls hate hitting on guys,. even tough girls who think a bit like boys. i love th epart about standing at the top of everest – ill jiust wait outside of rehab! in neils female brain review=- i have it on my kindle now the ellsberg book what chapter given all that- i dont wanna watse time. xxx clc

  80. “The Great Happiness Space: Tale of an Osaka Love Thief” is a must see. Its a documentary on Japanese host clubs where women go to meet well-paid male hosts for companionship.

    This documentary was amazing and disturbing (for lack of better words). I never seen a documentary like this!

    Does anyone know if any hosts have written books?

    I would also love to read a break down of all the tricks these hosts are using one by one. Maybe an expert PUA could write or do an audio commentary.

    I know I’m cross posting but I think people will really like this.

  81. hey neil
    sorry for my insanely long emails with no grammar, its sort of a lot of pressure and i know that- anyway how does the bartender dump me?? i mean im here hanging with you guys cos i dont have a hit or a fil and now im a puppy kitty killer- the truth is apparently peabody one of my cats was in heat after we moved from some mcmansion awful pad,. and a MOUNTAIN LION RAPED AND KILLED THE BENGAL CAT WHO WAS IN HEAT APPARANTLY SHE WAS FLIRTING W THE MOUNTAin lion- i mean i have been asking wtf is peabody for 2 years, and finally my guitarist told me! ANYWAY so bad rep plus no hit equals a total exposure to not having any game- because im not fucking marrying some rich guy when i am the rich guy- theyre toxic narcissists at best if not downright machavellian- one oligarch some kids were setting me up w – they said hes great ‘for one of them’ no thanks- im not some fucking natasha- id blow a lawyer to get my shit ,MAYBE if he was hot but ive only ever met 4 fraud guys that were worth a fuck and they arent EVER hot. theyre like neo trekkie bad,- hey my first crush had the uss enterprise i love a nerd- shut up- so i took to fucking- just for the fuck of fucking- lately usuallly i just pl;ay a hit and point if im in a 1 percent zone- where its safe for me- me and my chi ck bassist tried male groupies in cleveland she just made out i did the whole deed, and boy who gets the story there- totallyuncool as wellas that i picked a blonde . so three years later hes lost that hair is fat w his mommy screaming on fan crowd at venue’ mom look I FUCKED COURTNEY’ oi vey- so not cool- neil thank you for reading the female brain- you know it was handed to me standard issue by a total lothario witha naff inscritpion and i told him id rather die than read his book he hands his bitches- but i have been curiois he also had ;survival of the prettiest/ which i cany get thru- shoiuld i bother with ‘persuaion skills blackbook’ ? did we live w those guys at project h? this is how the bartender and tharts all thats the cool part not an artist- not an actor not anascent anything totally self contained beuatiful boitticelli bartneder hes so hot you could boil an egg on his head, andnice and honest and wheres that going? nowhere in a good way.. i dont want anything to go anywhere- but i cant replicate that one guy- there has to be working class normal honest hot botticelli beuatiful filthy guys in this town that arent going to stalk you and arent social climbers= ,i rtefuse to go under 35 i just cant- the sum total of conversatiomn was something like ‘ is this cashmere’ ‘yes’ ;oh fuck yes
    ! he thought the’servants’ were ‘ goofy’ (scuse babe whose gonna clean my pigsty?
    ) but then ‘ i like fucking you i just gotta think about shit” umm- totaly respected it- but i was like? ummm- hes a good respectful; person and gets more poon im sure than any lothario wanna be- 3 am and the natashas and rich chicks and models are drunk as fuck- and there he is- dude if i believed in paying for it- there it is. but why me? i think i sucked in bed actually- i know i did, cos i didnt care. i did i treated him like a man he is a man- maybe i was too nice- dunno it just felt wierd- it didnt hurt my feelings im me for fucks sake- but it was just a little funny wierd so is this nlp book worth reading, next hot bartender im keeping for a fuckbuddy- so not looking for a boyfriedn and anyone of yout hat even tried to hit on me here neil will b eat your asses. hes my big bro. isnt that a funny one? micko had to hang w our drummer who owns the best modelling agency on earth on the side to get some action and the little fucker looks likle jagger and plays guiatr like noone on eartth were both gameless. xo court

  82. The definitive Book on Body Language- By barbara pease

    what everyBODY is saying- by joe navarro

    Both gave me amazing skill set for social interactions

  83. Has anyone read “Live Your Dreams….Let Reality Catch Up: NLP and Common Sense for Coaches, Managers, and You”?? I am wanting to delve into NLP and came across this book. Does anyone know anything about this book?

  84. Ohh boy, i have alot of catching up to do and read all of these books. Atleast i started with the best one “The Game” im about half way threw right now.

  85. Hi Neil

    I recommend a book called “Time to Think” by Nancy Kline. A very well-written piece of work, her thoughts are articulated incredibly clearly. This was a bit of a page-turner for me.
    It looks at the power of effective listening to enhance relationships. One good takeaway I found was looking at how one should try to find the bedrock assumption one has in their subconscious that creates higher level issues one is experiencing.



  86. Pingback: The Female Brain Explained | Neil Strauss

  87. After reading The Game and reading several books and watching several video’s related to pick up, The Way Of The Superior Man really put things into perspective for me. I’ve never been absolutely terrible with women, but I’ve always had some lack of understanding when it came to women and their ultimate desires. While reading The Way Of The Superior Man, it’s very easy to visualize the mistakes I made in past relationships, and the knowledge I’ve gained from the pick up community gave me plenty of insight on what I SHOULD have done in certain situations. It’s never really been my goal to continually go out and sleep with as many women as possible. If this your goal then this book probably won’t be AS useful to you as it was to me, but even still it’s a great book about life, and how to deal with the people in it.

  88. Pingback: and my journey starts here. « simply minimal

  89. Have you guys read Yes!: 50 Scientifically Proven Ways to Be Persuasive . Since it claims to be scientifically proven, shouldn’t it work like magic in the field ? Do you guys use openers in other languages too ? Wouldn’t it sound unnatural if you translate material from enlish to required language ?

    1. Yes. I live in Guadalajara, Mexico where the great mayority of people speaks spanish. Im reading The Game and I find it very mind-opener; the are some phrases and openers you just have to adapt to your language to harmonize with our idiom structure and sintaxis, although the basis is the same.

      Fun and Love.

  90. The Power Of Now.

    Its an enlightenment book intended to separate whats real and whats just ego product on your BEING. It can really help you find out yourself, control your emotions, and to develop self-awareness.

    It has deeply helped me being joyful with my life by focusing on the present moment and dissolving the intrusive thoughts and emotions.

  91. Thanks for the list Neil. The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle has made an huge impact on my life .It talks about the core of our ego and how we are controlled by it.The basic message of Tolle’s book is that our mode of consciousness can be transformed. The key to becoming free of the egoic mind, with all its consequences, is to become deeply conscious of this present moment, or, as Tolle often calls it, “the Now.”
    I also recommend his other book ‘A New Earth’

  92. Hi guys! thanks for this list that you`d provided me in this post. I`m from Argentina, so it`s a little dificult to get here all the books you suggest, but I`m willing to do anything I can to become “the best version of myself”, as Neil says. Some good books I recomend are:
    -“The structure of magic I” and “II”-Richard Bandler and John Grinder
    -“The evolution of desire” or something like that (I translated it myself from the title in spanish “La evolucion del deseo”-By Daniel Bass
    The game has just started…
    Good luck yall!

  93. Two great books I’ve read are Tricks of the Mind, by Derren Brown and The 4 hour work week, by Tim Ferriss. In Tricks of the Mind, Derrent gives you the foundation blocks of how he does what he does. Simply things, like inproving your memory or understanding how similar peoples objectives in life are (cold reading) is really interesting. The 4 hour work week is not relevant for the business I run, but it focuses on getting the lifestyle you want and pratical ways of doing, which is very interesting.

  94. The Problem of Pain by: C.S. Lewis

    The Art of War by: Sun Tzu

    An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding by: David Hume

    Man’s Search for Meaning by: Viktor E. Frankl

    If anything these books just opened up a whole world of different philosophies.

  95. ‘Why Smart People Do Stupid Things With Money – Overcoming Financial Dysfunction’ by Bert Whitehead

    Of interest to the PUA is the section on your financial personality. You might even be able to turn it into a routine.

    Otherwise it provides unique and solid financial planning advice.

  96. Joseph Campbell – Lecture Series ( Total 36 audio lectures in think, but foundation is still releasing previously unreleased lectures), Mythos I and II ( Also lectures and can be seen on netflix) and interview series with Bill Moyers ( Also can be seen on netflix). His best book ” Hero with thousand faces”. He discusses from James Joyce to Carl Jung. Great Stuff. Definately Life changing. Web address of foundation is http://www.jcf.org

    Charles Bukowski : Besides their literary value his novels like women are a good source of inspiration that how a man in his mid fifties can be seducing girls in early 20’s. Also the guy has a swagger. Bukowski tapes is a good course in body language and swagger. Here is a Youtube link of a part from Bukowski tapes where he talks about individualism


    For people interested in finance / Money, Pat Dorsey’s book “The Five Rules of Successful Stock Investing” is like a quick course in finance. The best book about stock investing that i have ever read. Peter Lynch who used to run Magellan Fund in 80’s and has some of the highest returns on investments in US history wrote a book called “One Up on the Wall Street” which is a good starting point for people interested in stock market.

    Charlie Munger who is Warren Buffett’s business partner wrote a book call ” Poor Chalrie’s Almanack”. This book and another book called ” Seeking Wisdom from darwin to munger” talks a lot about the common flaws in human thinking and how to avoid them. Great books.

    Charlie Munger gave a speech at USC in 2007 which is just awesome. Here is the link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L6Cy7UwsRPQ

    Reading and watching Warren Buffett is also amazing. He gave an MBA talk which i found quite interesting . Here is the link

    I found Steve Jobs Biography very inspiring. Especially how he manages his artistic and non artistic side together

    Nobel Price winner author Richard Feynman two books” Surely You’re Joking, Mr. Feynman!: Adventures of a Curious Character” and “What Do You Care What Other People Think?” He lived an interesting life including learning how to paint in his fifties.

    Chuck Palahnuik books esp choke and fight club

    Born To run – I like it because it talks about how much endurance humans actually have ( athletes running 125 mile marathons)

    Omnivores Dilemma ( A good insight in nutrition)

  97. Bounce by Mathew Syed is a great one to read, nothing to do with actual tips on game, but gives you the real belief and tactics on how to practice efficiently and dismisses the theory of inborn tallent.

    1. Yeah great book, took a long time to get through but well worth it. I could hardly put it down the last 300 pages

  98. The Book of Five Rings by Miyomoto Musashi only the translation by Steven Kauffman though as it stays true to the spirit of of this book. All other translations are either just exercises in translating japanese to english, or geared to business situations. For those who don’t know Musashiis known as the Sword saint of Japan. He is actual person that is known to have won at least 60 duels, his first at 13 years old. This is a practical book of strategy along with The Art of War by Sun Tzu. Mindset,spirit and attitudes are focused on in this work. Also by Musashi is THE DOKKODO also known as The Way of walking alone. Written 1 week before he died this was written by Musashi to his apprentice while living in a cave at 62 years old. While the DOKKODO is not a book, it is 21 precepts applicable not just to Game but all areas of our lives. Any man that survived 60 duels to the death against various opponents and weapons and has advice to give, I want to learn from. The DOKKODO can found through Google or Wikipedia.

  99. The Art of Seduction
    The 48 Laws of Power (Both Greene ones)
    How to make friends & Influate people (Dale Carnegie)
    Unto Thee I Grant (This one is believed to be written by pharaoh Akhenaton, and brought to us by Rosecroix members…)

  100. The Art of Learning, by Josh Waitzkin. Its a guide book to regular improvement and learning, told through the story of Josh Waitzkin, the youngest chess grandmaster, who then became a world champion martial artists in a few years. Waitzkin makes the point that he isnt smarter or stronger than his competition, but able to learn faster/deeper. I expect Neil would really like the book.

  101. Most people here are probably not thinking about this. But for me personally, the real challenges arise when most of the PickUp books stop. At the relationship itself. How to keep it going, how to keep it interesting, and how to spend your time with just one person (not necessarily exclusive) – even after many, many years. These are the real hard ones in my opinion. And there is a brilliant answer to them in the form of the books of David Schnarch. I personally would recommend starting with “Passionate Marriage: Sex, Love & Intimacy in emotionally committed relationships” (don’t get alarmed by the title), but his most recent work “Intimacy & Desire: Awaken the Passion in Your Relationship” is also very good.
    A warning, though: David does not preach the same stuff everybody else does. Be ready for something new and maybe unfamiliar – and then realize how brilliant it really is.

    1. Read some of the work by Ayala Malach Pines too 🙂 She sadly passed away but she left some amazing study writings and books behind on the subject of relationships

  102. Well I’m gonna have to say that Green Eggs and Ham was probably the most life changing book that I read but, The Mystery Method is a definite number two. In all reality though the more you read, the better you speak.

  103. going alone on a 1 month adventure vacation in asia tomorrow. Will bring 3 books:
    neil strauss – emergency
    richard dawkins – selfish gene
    napoleon hill – think and grow rich

  104. I’ve been wanting to post a list of books, videos and audio for some time but haven’t had the opportunity to pin myself down to the computer till now, so for those who want to make the difference internally to better your life externally, here’s some good stuff to look into.

    (Audio) Goto http://www.josephclough.com and download his free complete life mastery course
    (video) ‘The living encyclopedia of NLP’ – very interesting and informative
    (Audio) Intelliquest –The world’s 100 greatest books
    (Reading) Chicken soup for the soul by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen (gets you into a storytelling mindset until it becomes habitual)
    (Reading) How to talk to your self by Shad Helmstetter
    (Reading) The power of your subconscious mind by Joseph Murphy
    And theres another book called The power of subconscious mind by one of Joseph Murphy’s sidekicks. Also, theres an audio book of The power of your subconscious mind that you can look up on youtube (but personally I think its best to read the book)
    (Reading) Never eat alone and other secrets to success by Keith Ferrazi
    The Big book of NLP techniques by Shlomo Vaknin (This is Gold-dust)
    (Reading) Timeline therapy and the basis of personality by Tad James and Wyatt Woodsmall
    (Reading) The handy psychology answer book by Lisa J Cohen PHD
    (Reading) You are what you say you are (uncertain of the author but theres a foreword by Patch Adams, and it’s a proven programme that you can try to better yourself )
    (Reading) Manual of the warrior of light by Paulo Coelho is a great book and easy to read
    (Reading) I hear the owl call my name by Frank Muller is a story worth noting
    (Reading) look for Marc and Angel Hack’s website online and check out their posts and lists (one worth noting is ‘questions to free your mind’. Absolutely brilliant openers and lots of inspiration. I would suggest choosing a list and then focussing on the content for one week then going to another list)
    Finally, learn tapping. Faster EFT is becoming very popular and is time well spent practicing and learning, and showing others how. http://www.fastereft.com

    Heres are the questions i liked but there are lots more amazing posts on Marc and Angel’s website (Link above)

    These questions have no right or wrong answers.
    Because sometimes asking the right questions is the answer.

    How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
    Which is worse, failing or never trying?
    If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?
    When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?
    What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?
    If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?
    Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?
    If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?
    To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?
    Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?
    You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?
    If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?
    Would you break the law to save a loved one?
    Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?
    What’s something you know you do differently than most people?
    How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?
    What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?
    Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?
    If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?
    Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?
    Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?
    Why are you, you?
    Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?
    Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?
    What are you most grateful for?
    Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?
    Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first?
    Has your greatest fear ever come true?
    Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now?
    What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special?
    At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?
    If not now, then when?
    If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?
    Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?
    Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?
    Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?
    If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?
    Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?
    Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?
    When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?
    If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?
    Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?
    What is the difference between being alive and truly living?
    When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?
    If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?
    What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
    When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?
    What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?
    In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?
    Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?

  105. Ive just started reading the game and I can barely put it down, you have given me hope and a new lease of life! I cannot wait to start tryin out everythin ive learned and Im going to definitely read the hell out of everything you suggest! If I can be half the PUA you are, Ill be a happy happy man! all the best Neill and good luck with married life 😉

    1. as a friend i wanna suggest you to read the rules of game after you finished the game.then you’ll really feel the change.

  106. isn’t it better to read the mystery method than influence?cause i’m a great fan of mystery and style so why don’t you introduce book written by style and mystery?

    1. Hey guys! I’m new to this community and I have read most of these comments you have left on this page. I cannot wait to continue learning about becoming a PUA. Any must reads after the Rules of the Game? You see I am in Spain now for another month then I go back to NY and all these Spanish girls are calling my name. In this month I want to make the most of it as I can. Its just unethically to leave them all for someone else. Nice to be apart of such a great community.

    1. The Prince by Machiavelli
      The No Asshole Rules by Robert I. Sutton
      The Book of Vice by Peter Sagal
      The Alchemist by Paulo Cuehlo
      Soul Signs in Love by Diane Eichenbaum
      Gates of Fire by Steven Pressfield

  107. The definitive book of body language has helped me a lot, I can read a females body and know how she feels about my presence. Also I can tell when she is open and interested. It’s a great read

  108. there is also one book you didn’t recomend it is book about body language by alan and barbara piz.

  109. When I began my research in to social engineering and NLP, n inspired friend handed me a piece of paper that read





    …scrawled across the front in sprawling blue ink letters.

    Confused, yet interested, I visited the web address, and quickly lost many, many days reading Every Entry I could find.

    Great technical information on all strata of psychology and technique, but it’s aesthetic is a bit cumbersome, and geared towards the ‘I don’t mind reading a textbook or technical manual’ sort of person.


  110. It started when I stumbled on The Game in August 2006. These books have transformed me from a pretty shy well intentioned guy, to the man that women from all walks of life throughout the world cannot get enought of.

    Thank You Neil.


  111. I have always been a natural. Strong enough todeflect incoming attacks and manipulation but never being able to have the heart or knowledge to truly manipulate. I am a handsome man and have self esteem and love my inner nerd that googles everything. I have stduied and only have a few personal hurdles too overcome before i am golden. The book which put me on the path was the laws of thinking. It gave me my soul back which i lost for years. Things gained luster and sparkle andi could feel again and got a physical high off my mind. This book is like dynamite, but i hope that we will be responsible and I dont mind sharing such information here. You feel like you would be a good friend brother neil. Im going to read your book again, it was fun. Then finish art if seduction and start nlp

    1. sir neil strauss m a huge fan of yours and as well as mystery….u guys have changed thousands of men including me…we all have the ability to mate its just that we dont get it…..falling again and again and having the balls to stand up is the key to success…sir i dnt have words to describe how much change you guys brought in all of us……we owe u and every person who devoted for this good work…i am a student and i m drawn to this world …..a true pickup artist is not a player he never cheats a girl…he loves the girl moreover he loves every girls and treats them with respect..being a player is easy by fooling people but being a man is tough who knows how to protect people who allies with them…….

      sir i would be gratified if i get your reply…i know you have a busy schedule ………..mystery is so alpha with his behaviour….the way he sits the way he speaks everything is so alpha….i know many other pickup artist but he is so unique…..

  112. Thank you neil.Great books ,my friends Influence and GAME are my all time favourites.I need help on confidence building books! Thank you guys in advance..What a great list

  113. As A Man Thinketh by James Allen.

    Short book, in fact it’s more of a long essay but more profound than just about any other book I’ve ever read. A word to the wise, if you are depressed or close to it proceed with caution – it could either pull you further down or lift you up.

  114. Hey Neil and members,
    Would you consider writing a book for online dating and texting? I am very interested in your experience and knowledge with these two mediums since they have become predominant in the dating culture.


  115. After reading through Neil’s suggestions and nearly every comment by other people, I have formulated a list of 50 great books that will help improve your game. A list made in Barnes and Noble can be found here with 49 out of the 50:
    The other book is The Full Facts Book of Cold Reading by Ian Rowland which can be found on:

    The authors of the these books also have a few others books that can help you with your game, and some of the ideas like the alexander technique have many other books related to the idea as well.

  116. “outliers” by Malcolm Gladwell is an eye-opener!! Its what the most successful people in all areas do differently and the patterns that appear- no agenda to sell anything or sway you in a direction,,just raw data. Very interesting examples and a beautiful picture for you to decipher how exactly you fit into this puzzle.

  117. Awesome list! I’m right now looking for them. There are lot of books which have influenced me, but there are 2 for me are the most remarkable about social dynamics:
    -How to develop a million dollar personality (JV Cerney): the first step towards seduction is quitting being obnoxious.
    -Patrones de persuasion (Persuasion patterns, by Alvaro Bonilla): a useful guide and introduction to convincing people, which can be used not only with women but also for work. As a plus, is download-free.

  118. first of all thanks for the awesome recommendations!
    one for me important question i keep asking myself, because i sometimes think just reading is not enough, is the following..

    do you guys just keep reading so that it influences your mind in the long run and the way you think or to which extent do you work and remembering the things, e.g. by writing them down and also for example following exercises that are recommended in many of the books?

    i btw recommend
    Flow by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi &
    Stumbling on Happiness by Daniel Gilbert

  119. “The Definitive Book of Body Language” By Allan Pease. This book, though quite old, transformed my game – social, pick-up, & work life. It allowed me to recognise both opportunities and threats from a distance. 😀

  120. 1)Who stole my cheese

    2)rich dad poor dad

    3)men from mars

    4)how to talk to anyone 92 ways by leil lowndes

    Pretty good books to me , gonna check urs too

  121. I would also recommend Way of the Superior Man by David Deida, Iron John by Robert Bly and King Warrior Magician Lover by Moore and Gillette. I view these as a good foundation for self examination and improvement, internal game rather than external.

  122. As a primer for King’s book, but also for understanding IOI’s and other facets of socializing, I recommend “The Psychopathology of Everyday Life,” by Sigmund Freud. This is a classic work in psychology that helps students of the discipline more quickly understand the behavior of the “subconscious” mind. It ties in with inner behavior patterns and thought processes, learned throughout one’s life cycle, which often stir negative and self-defeating cognition’s.

  123. Hi everyone, i’m new here, greetings to Neil, he’s one of my heroes and inspirational figures.

    I’ll cut it short, i’ve read a mind blowing book on woman and life.
    That book cuts out every other book on seduction, cuts out trick, ice breaker and any kind of tactics.
    It was mind blowing and brainwashing for me:

    -What woman wants and how to give it to them by W. Anton

    I think every man on this planet has to read that book over and over. It actually tells you that everyone is born as a great seducer, nobody is born shy, but then society kicks in gradually through our lives and change us with stupid self-destroyng beliefs. The book brainwash you again, on the right way!

    After reading it the first time i had woman immediatly responding to me in a way they never did, it felt like magic.

    Also i want to thank Neil for writing The Game, thank you man for for making me truly believe that it’s possible to change.

    P.s. i’m from Italy, is here any pua wanting to teach to other people?


  124. Neil,

    I just read Trying Not to Try by Edward Slingerland. It connects the ancient Daoist concept of Wu-Wei with the modern concept of flow states. It’s extremely interesting and accessible. Chinese rulers studied these principles to influence people and effectively manage themselves in society.

  125. All of the books rule, I read everyone so for that reason I asking for a big favor, recommend more books.

    Wish you the best, greatings from México.

  126. Interestingly enough, psychology of persuasion by Cialdini, and what every body is saying by Navarro were required reading in a class I took. So was Confidential by John Nolan. It covers elicitation very well. two other recommended books, which I read and found useful were how to connect in business in 90 seconds by Nicholas Boothman and unstoppable confidence power of nlp by Kent Sayre. fbi.gov has a pdf on elicitation too. I wish I had read the game prior to the class. it would have made the field exercises much easier.

  127. I read 48 Laws of Power, it was a bit too general, I want to buy the Art of Seduction but I hope it’s more detailed.

  128. I would say “Persuasion Skills Black Book” by Rintu Basu had a great inpact on how i look at language and has a lot of usefull patterns for every day conversations.

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  131. Hello, new to this forum and excited to be a part! Recently I read the book “The Manual: What Women Want and How to Give It To Them” by W. Anton. I felt like it was a great foundation layer paired up with The Game and the exercises in Cory Skyy’s “Magnetic Mindset”. Although the book seems at times to somewhat dog PUA methods I felt it was great about informing on bad habits we’re raised with and society’s view of how expendible a man is in the overall picture. It seemed to really break down things in clear wording which helped me to grasp some of the concepts of women’s wants and confidence which I thought I had a better understanding of before this book.
    I’m glad that you’ve included several books because as I’m coming to see thru experience that multiple teachers help us to come to the places we thought unobtainable.

  132. I personally recommend the book `How to Win Friends and Influence People` written by Dale Carnegie because it has very well written rules for social relations. This mat be very useful for gaining confidence in societal relations.

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  134. You are missing the perfect book on manipulation. It’s written for those getting manipulated, but she tells exactly what manipulators do to make their victims respond. Ironically, she mentions that she doubts that anyone doing the manipulating would read her book. I especially like how the author points out that people often fall into rolls in their relationships with others. There is a long list of the different manipulating relationships with a lengthy explanation of each one. The book is called Who’s Pulling Your Strings?: How to Break the Cycle of Manipulation and Regain Control of Your Life by Harriet Braiker.

  135. Great list Neil. In addition some great books mentioned in comments as icing on the cake.
    However, in order to top it off with a cherry I would recommend ‘Models’ by Maek Manson. Enjoy reading guys! Cheers 🙂

  136. I strongly recommend teachings of Alan Watts and Jiddu Krishnamurti. They may help you understand yourself as a human being and how to position yourself properly in society in terms of selecting goals that you really want to achieve and not goals motivated by illusions inspired through social conditioning. With the help of youtube you can find them. Peace guys!

  137. Erich Fromm :
    Escape from Freedom
    Man for Himself
    The Art of Loving

    These three books, they won´t do anything to you, the matter is what you will do after them.

  138. A book is useful to a stupid person, as a mirror is useful to a blind man. Do you know quoted that statement ? It was quoted by the first prime minister of India by Pundit Chanakya of Maurya Empire. This brahmin had a lot to teach about women, politics, economics and management.

  139. “I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”

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    ouut how to begin. Any suggestions orr tips? Cheers!

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