How To Use Cooking To Up Your Game

spikespencerNeil, The Game

“If a man can cook, the women will come.” —Spike Spencer

We’ve all heard the old line about the fastest way to a man’s heart being through his stomach. I’m here to tell you that it can definitely work the other way around as well. Ladies love food. Besides that obligatory first date or two when they may just politely nibble roughage like a timid little bunny, once they are comfortable with you, they can really hoark it down. This is definitely something of which you should be taking full advantage.

There are so many reasons to become a good cook. Food is not only something you need every day, but it is also a great communication tool. It is an art form, an amazing weapon to have in your dating quiver. And it’s damn tasty! Why shovel mounds of worthless processed crap into your pie hole when you can, with very little effort, expand your culinary world, enhance your sense of taste and style, save some serious money, be healthier, and impress the women in your life? Why indeed…

I started my own culinary journey way back in college. And I did it to attract women. I wanted to stand out from other guys and offer more than a simple awkward, expensive night out at some fancy shmancy restaurant; and to not get stuck in vapid surface chatter, fielding dating “interview” questions. As impressive as my Drama major was, I couldn’t ride that banner of perpetual unemployment to dating victory. Oh, and I was broke.

So I decided to learn at the foot of the masters. I grabbed Betty Crocker Cooks Chinese from my mom’s bookshelf and went to town! Okay, maybe not a masterful work, but it got me started. Soon I had learned the basics of deep and stir frying, sautéing, and thickening sauces. I got ideas on how to present food in an appetizing way. And it didn’t hurt that I was young, fit, and looked good in an apron. Hey, when you wear it with a tank top, it can work.

Food literally saved my bacon. Or rather, it was bacon that saved my life! Mmmmm, bacon.

Flash forward. Many years later, I found myself, after a recently failed marriage, in the dating scene again. Starting over. But now, with many years of solid, self-taught cooking game, I had a strong attraction enhancer. Not only did it help me on the dating front, it also helped me heal after a terrible divorce, a bankruptcy, and so much loss in my life that I was on the verge of swallowing a .38 snub nose revolver and clocking out. Luckily, I decided to make paella instead. I focused the pain into my culinary adventures and utilized what I learned in my conquest to find another lady (of sterner moral fiber) to cook for. That search yielded many memorable adventures and much research on how to use food to woo the lovelies. Learn, Padawan, learn you must.

Now, with the recent proliferation of all things Foodie, there is unlimited (and FREE!) information on becoming a decent cook. Way better than cheesy Betty Crocker books. There are whole networks dedicated to teaching you how to prepare, discuss, and present amazing and delectable goodies from around the globe. YouTube is overflowing with gourmet, lip-smacking “how to” content, including some by yours truly. There is a veritable dating goldmine right in front of you, and it is time you take advantage!

Imagine a scenario like this. A woman has two choices:

A) A nice guy who treats her well, but doesn’t really have his stuff together. He can order take out, has some idea of what a stove does, knows his way around a can opener, but his real culinary work horse in the kitchen is a microwave (brimming with frozen pizza detritus). Or,

B) An intelligent, smart, capable, and smooth MAN, who sits her down at a well-set table adorned with candles, flatware in the right positions, and actual cloth napkins. Soft music streams in the background, a nice Cabernet is breathing and perhaps a floral arrangement is nearby. The sensual aromas of sautéing garlic, butter, and shallots fill the air, waiting for their companions of Shiitake mushrooms to join the medley, all to be draped luxuriously over the perfectly pan-seared filet mignon— after it sets, of course. To accompany this meaty star performer, perhaps broiled asparagus, oven-roasted butternut squash, or maybe wine-poached fingerling potatoes with a light sprinkling of dill and black sea salt from Maui will do the trick. And don’t forget a simple yet elegant dessert of warm blueberry coulis atop a savory coconut sorbet.

After you wipe the drool off your own mouth, imagine what the lovely lady presented with this scenario is thinking. “A” is a sweet fella, but “B” is a MAN! If you are “B,” your cache just shot up like a mofo. If you are “A,” get thee to the Food Network! Learn some food game, and up your level of play immediately. Everyone is more food conscious these days. Women are looking for the whole package. It’s not just about money and power, it’s about capability and culture. There is adventure in the scents, sounds, and tastes of succulent morsels that speaks to the very soul. Time to tap in, my friends.

Inflame the senses. Scent is one of the most powerful memory boosters. The aroma of sautéed garlic, onions, and green peppers (an old carny trick—sauté those and the crowds will come!) can remind her of being a kid on the midway at the fair. That searing steak might bring back memories of family get togethers. Even the smell of hot dogs and s’mores might take her back to that one time, at band camp… Never mind. Just imagine being able to elicit wonderful feelings of happy memories with luscious scents and sizzling sounds that speak to her yearning for connection. And you satisfy it.

Women want passion. In food, there is passion.

When you cook, you are creating. You are making that extra effort to please her and feed her cravings. There is art in this. And the best part is, it is not hard to do. You don’t have to go all Iron Chef on her ass—just do some simple things to let her know that you “get it.” If the “B” scenario frightened you, relax. Every dish there was surprisingly easy to prepare. On my site, I have quick videos on basics to help you, as well as very simple recipes that will up your game immensely fast. You can do amazing things with a little knowledge!

No matter where you are on your path of relationships, cooking can enhance your game. Period. There is zero downside. Even when I’m alone, I eat like a frickin’ king! Why? Because I know what I’m doing and I am worth it. If you settle for less, you will get less. Learn to cook well for the ladies, but also for yourself. You deserve it. You are an evolving, ever-improving MAN, and enjoying the fruits of your labors is a must. Your self-worth dictates how women will treat you. If you want to be treated like a stale block of cheap dried Ramen noodles, knock yourself out. I prefer to be revered like a rare Chateaubriand swathed seductively in a velvety Béarnaise sauce.

In addition to all the amazing interior improvement that cooking brings about, there is one other practical element: Cost. Cooking is WAY cheaper than going out. For less than 20 bucks, you can fully knock a woman’s culinary socks off! And if she is already at your place, the chances of it escalating are immensely higher. The awkward “my place or yours” moment is non-existent. She has already approved of you enough to be alone at your place. Most of your game is done already.

Realize it’s not just about the food. It’s about everything you have done to get to that point. It took work, effort—you improved yourself! You undoubtedly have stories, experiences, and knowledge to share. Now she is enjoying the rewards of your adventure. You are the maestro, you are in charge. Lead her eloquently in an evening of delights. And believe me, if you wish it, she will return for seconds.


This is a practically fool-proof, easy first-date meal she will love.

(Thomas Keller-Inspired) Baked Chicken

One whole chicken (at room temperature!)
Vegetables (cut in large chunks): onions, carrots, tomatoes, mushrooms, potatoes, etc.
Olive or grapeseed oil
Salt and pepper
Herbs: thyme, tarragon, rosemary, marjoram, etc.

  • Heat oven to 450 degrees
  • Place veggies in a large, heavy (oven-safe) frying pan (or a large baking dish,
    if you must)
  • Drizzle a little oil on the veggies (not on the chicken!) and toss; add salt and pepper
  • Wash and pat chicken dry (don’t forget to remove the bag o’ liver, heart, and gizzards)
  • Truss and remove wishbone (if you are advanced)
  • Salt and pepper chicken inside and out and sprinkle with herbs
  • Place chicken atop veggies
  • Roast (approx 45-60 mins.) till bird is 170 degrees at the inner thigh
    (yes, get a meat thermometer)
  • Let bird sit for 10-15 minutes, covered with a tin foil “tent”
  • Carve and serve with roasted veggies
  • Watch her face light up

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