Learn The Rules Of The Game: Rule One

Neil StraussThe Game22 Comments

Rule One: Don’t Look Into The Light

Every instinct you have as a healthy, red-blooded male must be repressed the moment you walk into a room if you want to successfully meet women.

Standing in the entranceway is that blonde in the two-sizes-too-small t-shirt that reads: “I stole your boyfriend.” If you look towards the stairs, you just might catch a glimpse underneath that brunette’s skirt. Then there’s that woman alone in the corner who you want to examine closer to determine if she’s attractive or not.

Don’t do it.

The club, the bar, the café – wherever you go to meet women – is a performance. You are always being watched. As soon as you start staring, evaluating, or ogling any girl in front of you, you have just disqualified yourself to every woman behind you.

The reason is not just because you appear creepy and desperate, but also because you and your friends don’t appear to be interesting, fun, or worth meeting. A man who is successfully with women generally doesn’t drool every time one passes by.

Here’s the key to going out: Everyone wants to be with the most popular person in the room. However, since most groups in the room don’t know the others, all you really need is to create the illusion of being popular in that moment.

So as soon as you walk in, don’t get caught looking around and not having fun. Be engrossed in an animated conversation with your friends, because your friends are the funniest, most interesting people in the room. Smile, laugh, and make attention-getting gestures. You’re not there to meet women, or so it appears. You’re there because you enjoy each other’s company.

And then, when out of the corner of your eye you notice that girl in the “I stole your boyfriend” baby tee, you wheel around and start a conversation.

She was wondering when you’d notice.


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22 Comments on “Learn The Rules Of The Game: Rule One”

  1. Pure Gold… it’s so true. I’ve often noticed while working, whenever the guys on the stand ogle women walking by, the women make a point of never coming close, but if you appear unaffected, then suddenly they are within proximity. Thanks Neil!

  2. Just so, in Pakistan, people who ogle women mercilessly are stereotyped we call them “Tharki”

    Such demeanor destroys your game even before hitting the ‘start’ button.

    1. Hey Ebony, where in Pakistan do you practice your game? im also here for the moment and had some varying results. Mostly positive, but how has it been for you?

  3. Swede has already said it: pure gold.

    I’d like to canvas opinion on how to translate this to situations where you’re on your own – i.e. grabbing a coffee on the way to work, that sort of occasion. My natural approach would be to focus on my body language and smile and engage initially with the barrista (or whoever) and develop rapport with them before turning around to the girl in the “I stole your boyfriend” baby tee…


    1. Swede stole my line too, gold! And if someone is not convinced, next time there’s a girl in a “I stole your boyfriend” baby tee… don’t look at her and look at other guys and you’ll see why staring is so disqualifying!

  4. also by doing this you give yourself value if you go to this place often. Once the regulars get to know you as a fun and outgoing guy, eveytime after that you go into the bar/club you will automatically be greeted by the regulars. Now what goes through the mind of the ones who aren’t in there all the time. Who is this guy? He must be somebody, I need to talk to him, he is so popular. it’s an amazing effect that can work into your game. It’s basically inner circle kinda material, but with out some concepts from it.

  5. Been working on this this past week. Its hard at first to avoid the habit of instantly checking girls out, but its getting easier and i grasp and have personally seen its merit when it comes to attracting women.Good read, thanks Neil.

  6. I”m going to a warzone tomorrow–Milan during FASHION WEEK..it’s going to be hard (no pun intended) to keep myself from getting the ‘hungry look’ but I’m ready to see how I do in the ‘big time’. I”m readying all the blogs to make sure my game is strong…rule one-golden stuff!

  7. I”m going to a warzone tomorrow–Milan during FASHION WEEK..it’s going to be hard (no pun intended) to keep myself from getting the ‘hungry look’ but I’m ready to see how I do in the ‘big time’. I”m reading all the blogs to make sure my game is strong…rule one-golden stuff!

    1. hahahaha let me know how you did…thats kind of my territory :))) there is a special way with models…if you want my advice, stay away from russian girls…0 personality, uninteresting…
      btw, i killed it in summer there 😉 i was king of milano hehe

  8. This is one of the most valuable lessons I learnt reading the game. I now go to a bar/club with friends, have a good time with them, paying no attention whatsoever to the girls. Most of the time no approach is needed – they approach me.

  9. After reading this, I’ll try on a much harder method to avoid staring at girls in general. Even though I am in a LTR, it’s good to internalize this.

    Plus, a perfect excuse to eliminate as many bad habits as possible during my college years. 🙂

  10. One can come across as creepy needy and desperate whereas one can have the same things but come off as confident, proud, happy, and dominant. It just depends on how alpha or beta you are, which affecs how these instincts manifest. If you’re a natural, or moreover and alpha, don’t take these words in, it’s to your disbenefit to do so

  11. I spent four years trying EVERYTHING in Online Dating, and through a huge amount of trial and error, I produced a system that I will share for you. This book will take you, step by step, through everything you need to know to double, triple or even quadruple the number of women you meet online.

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