How to Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

I couldn’t make her understand. There were tears in her eyes. She did not want me here, pleading in her bedroom. She wanted me gone. But if I was here, then I wasn’t alone yet. We broke up before and we got back together. We broke up and we got back together for two years. But this tasted like the end, acidic in my throat. “How would I become the guy without the girlfriend?” the thought of it hurt. The suffocating idea of the loneliness crept around me as I wept out her door,...

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28 Responses to “How to Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back”

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  1. Brian90604 says:

    Thanks. I needed to hear someone tell me what I already know.

  2. Pery says:

    Wonderful post Ray .. You just summarized the pain one goes through after a break-up .. More importantly also the solution to it .. Thanks

  3. leon0 says:

    Epic post. And exactly what I need to read right now!

    Thanks man.

  4. Osiris says:

    Preach it, brother! I did this inadvertently a few years back. I thought my life was over after getting dumped, turns out it was just getting started! At the time I felt forced to reevaluate my life, now I see it as one of the greatest things to happen to me. Without that, I, too, would never have picked up the game, I wouldn’t be engaged, I wouldn’t be anywhere close to the level of success in my career.

    As for the girl who dumped me? I see her from time to time, and even if we just see each other for 5 minutes in the grocery store she somehow manages to mention regretting getting rid of me.

    Gypsy, you’re a rock star!

  5. Zemus says:

    I like how personal this post is.

  6. Roca says:

    That, sir, was beautiful

  7. casanovenus says:

    just what i needed,you know its like i thought she was my 1 itis i belived we were gonna get married have a couple kids and then die.Yeah right every AFC say the same words before they get The Game (life changing experince).You know its like in The Game Neil says if you think you in love Fuck more girls and see if that flower still lives and Hell yeah it worked for me

  8. llmrspa says:

    That is definitily a topic that unites man! We try to be gentle and kind… the best me I can, and yet.. she dumped me.

    Maybe we are just not soulmates.. our personalitis don’t match! Maybe a so-called perfect boyfriend is not what she’s looking for righ now..
    But those are really what I call an “unfair question”, ’cause:
    1- it will never be a right answer
    2- this answer doesn’t change the scenario

    One way or another, if she haven’t dumpeb me, I would have never read The Game and searched for so many others experience that definitily makes me a better and happier person today. AND THAT’S THE ONLY THING THAT MATTER in the long term.

    I can only end this just like Gipsy, thank you Juliane!

  9. Loopy says:


  10. Jip says:

    Good article, although it’s not something I can empathise with (as I’ve yet to experience it) it’s certainly something I can sympathise from after countless times of watching my pals go through the motions.
    It’s ironically refreshing to see truisms covered from time to time.
    The idea of guys abandoning their friends when a new partner comes on the scene really burns with me. It’s frustrating to see a relationSHIP become a submarine, dragging people away from surface contact for long periods of time.


  11. Arrybo says:

    cool post, we all been there and like the great book says to get over one just go and fuck ten, i know it worked for me x

  12. Russianthunder says:

    every day I thank the girl (and her rejection)that got me into PuA.
    I did eventually get her, in the sack at least, and now i see what a mistake it was to even try and date her.

    it’s made me a better person, 100% (and still getting better)

  13. garthy says:

    wow thats some deep shit bro ! keep’em coming

  14. lime9 says:

    Thank you, after 9 months, I know now what to do.

  15. Firewing says:

    I was in a similar case and This help me in some thinkings about my ex… Thanks

  16. Berok says:

    yea thats exactly what i needed to hear thanks!

  17. andydood12 says:

    How would you introduce the cube into a conversation thread when you’re doing it to an ex-girlfriend since in theory you already know much about her personality so she could find it almost insulting that you’re trying to find out her personality through a game when you should probably already know it by then?

  18. Dallen says:

    Man going through that right now!!!!

  19. Brian90604 says:

    One of the best posts ever…

  20. Sllik says:

    cheers man i really needed that….i got dumped 3 months ago and ive been fooling around but sometimes i still think of her and what-ifs…..anyway seriously much needed that.

  21. puabeliever says:

    I was a pua fanatic three years ago. I read everything as I progressed through the stages. Within two months I’d go out on my own – I found that whenever I brought my friends out they’d do nothing other than interfere with my game. I’d do the approach within two minutes of scoping the club, and I’d have the time of my life. Every time. I don’t want to jinx myself three years later, but when it was all over – after having met Jenny – I took pride in having never been turned away. Although I wanted to be rejected to just get that experience over with, it never happened. Maybe it’s because I was obsessed with the game and (intended to) move slow through the stages. Often, I’d find myself thinking “crap, what now? I should have read the next chapter this chick is rubbing her thighs, flipping her hair, loves my touch, etc.”

    Anyway, enough of the long winded background. Unfortunately, Jenny and I have had some rough times lately and it’s gotten ugly. I noticed in the past when we’d break up, if I didn’t contact her she’d come to me. We’re totally in love so that’s all it would take. But we break up all the time now and now I’m afraid we are getting close -if we’re not already there – to a final breakup. What I’m asking is how do I get her back in a way where she’ll see the relationship – in its healthy state – as something that she needs. See, she’s a 42 yo VP and I’m an attorney. And our breakups always stem from what I feel is her getting from me what she needs, intimacy, feeling wanted, going out. But she is, although she won’t admit it, proud of having earned her independence in life and is reluctant to give that up. Our relationship is in stuck mode and at 45, I’m looking for a partner for life.

  22. blackwolf says:

    Thanks for that. I especially loved the line

    “There’s too much hurt around you both to make it right. And even as you read those words you denied their truth”.


  23. charmingjefferson says:

    Its been 5 years and I still think about her. She visits me once a month just to see how I’m doing, just this past month we were talking again and dating, but she just got over it. The calls, and visits stopped completely. I was doing such a good job in the beginning using “The Game” but than my emotions got the best of me, and I started showing her to much interest again(being clingy). I screwed up. I’m sure there is no way to recover. So I’m following your advice and loosing complete contact with her, I’m just hurting myself.

  24. lonelysmilez says:

    Hey Ray,

    Your article really resonates me right now. It has been 2 days and 22.75 hours since I last spoke to the gf I once had and it is difficult going through the separation period. She has tried texting me 3x to reconcile (we have reconciled multiple times before), but I do not feel like the time is right to get back together because it will be a vicious cycle (which was the case before). I know this isn’t a therapy website. Neil mentions in Rules of the Game that with the creative side, there is also a destructive side. I’m starting to realize more and more that men and women have different definitions and expectations of relationships and it really is easy for one person to fall out of love while the other person is still in love.

    I’m in the phase where I feel like a total afc who is really back at square one. I am alone and I am getting through it by myself without any distractions such as past exes or rebounds. It will take some time to rebuild my positive attitude and ultimately I feel that is attainable. Thanks for sharing your personal story and paving the way for like-minded individuals to also deal with their own relationship losses in a constructive way.

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