How to Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

gypsyrayThe Game35 Comments

I couldn’t make her understand. There were tears in her eyes.

She did not want me here, pleading in her bedroom. She wanted me gone.

But if I was here, then I wasn’t alone yet.

We broke up before and we got back together. We broke up and we got back together for two years. But this tasted like the end, acidic in my throat.

“How would I become the guy without the girlfriend?” the thought of it hurt. The suffocating idea of the loneliness crept around me as I wept out her door, down her stairs, home.

That night ended. The lines I should’ve said to her rolled through my head like a twenty-four-hour scrolling LED sign. Then emptiness, rejected, cold bed, piles of laundry, stale air of never leaving the house, and so my life began again without her.

I stayed busy. I called the buddies I’d neglected for years to be with her. We went into the unwelcoming weekend jungles of bars and clubs. We got drunk and rolled the dice, missing more than we ever hit. I played World of Warcraft until I could level no more, then I started another character.

Still, she haunted me. I found her hair on my pillowcase. This song or that song, or every song was the one she loved. Her Facebook said “single” now. All I had of her was the pain, and I wasn’t letting go. The hole she once filled was all I had left, and willingly I fell into it.

Then I found a book shaped like the bible. I opened it because I didn’t believe its title, The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists. I read it in two days. Chandeliers of ideas exploded in my head. The question was, “Would it work on her?”

-Ring-Ring-Ring-

“Hello.”

“Hey, it’s me.”

“I know.”

“Pick a number between 1 and 10 but don’t say what it is.”

“Um…OK.”

“It’s 7, right?”

“Yeah, what!? How did you…”

“I think I’m becoming psychic.”

“Whatever. No you’re not.”

“Yeah, I went to a palm-reading lady. She had me do this personality test called The Cube. I think it made me psychic.”

“Really? What was it?”

“Well, it’s called The Cube. It tells you all about yourself in a few questions. So first question…”

We met at a coffee shop. I demonstrated high value, I disqualified, I showed pre-selection, I built jealousy plot lines like the ancient Egyptians built pyramids. To her, I was an all-new attractive me, fresh off the showroom floor.

We got back together! We watched movies, ate dinner, took road trips, and screwed like rabbits on the night before bunny Armageddon.

It did not last. I had only whitewashed the exterior of the rotting house of our relationship. We had hurt one another too much to ever build anew. And this last breakup set our home on fire. Our burning words scarred our memories of each other forever. We never talked again for many years, and then only at a distance in sparse words.

I know, I know, many of you had one like her. You’re broken for her. And so it goes that I am asked, “Can I get her back?”

Yes, you can.

Good game can do it. But it does not matter if you do. It will self-destruct. There’s too much hurt around you both to make it right. And even as you read those words, you denied their truth.

It takes hard work, my friend, to move on from the love who crushed you. In time it will pass. I will give you now the real prescription…

Do not contact her. Remove reminders of her from your sight. Un-friend her on Facebook. Take yourself out of her life, not forever but for right now.

Read the teachings of the pickup artist community. Rebuild yourself. Put in the time to become a better you. Mold yourself into the man you want to be, a man able to approach any woman, a man with the girlfriend of his dreams.

Date ten other women and ask yourself if you still want her back.

You’ll see her again someday. When you do, make her wonder why she left you.

************************************************************************************

Now, so many years after the hurt is over, I am glad I had her. I’m glad she ripped a hole in my heart. Without losing her, I wouldn’t have read The Game. I wouldn’t have become a pickup artist. I wouldn’t have met and worked for Neil. I wouldn’t have had the courage to chase my dreams.

I urge you to embrace your pain. Make it the fuel that ignites the fire of your self-improvement. Thank you, Marlene.

35 Comments on “How to Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back”

  1. Pery

    Wonderful post Ray .. You just summarized the pain one goes through after a break-up .. More importantly also the solution to it .. Thanks

  2. Osiris

    Preach it, brother! I did this inadvertently a few years back. I thought my life was over after getting dumped, turns out it was just getting started! At the time I felt forced to reevaluate my life, now I see it as one of the greatest things to happen to me. Without that, I, too, would never have picked up the game, I wouldn’t be engaged, I wouldn’t be anywhere close to the level of success in my career.

    As for the girl who dumped me? I see her from time to time, and even if we just see each other for 5 minutes in the grocery store she somehow manages to mention regretting getting rid of me.

    Gypsy, you’re a rock star!

  3. casanovenus

    just what i needed,you know its like i thought she was my 1 itis i belived we were gonna get married have a couple kids and then die.Yeah right every AFC say the same words before they get The Game (life changing experince).You know its like in The Game Neil says if you think you in love Fuck more girls and see if that flower still lives and Hell yeah it worked for me

  4. llmrspa

    That is definitily a topic that unites man! We try to be gentle and kind… the best me I can, and yet.. she dumped me.

    Maybe we are just not soulmates.. our personalitis don’t match! Maybe a so-called perfect boyfriend is not what she’s looking for righ now..
    But those are really what I call an “unfair question”, ’cause:
    1- it will never be a right answer
    and
    2- this answer doesn’t change the scenario

    One way or another, if she haven’t dumpeb me, I would have never read The Game and searched for so many others experience that definitily makes me a better and happier person today. AND THAT’S THE ONLY THING THAT MATTER in the long term.

    I can only end this just like Gipsy, thank you Juliane!

  5. Jip

    Good article, although it’s not something I can empathise with (as I’ve yet to experience it) it’s certainly something I can sympathise from after countless times of watching my pals go through the motions.
    It’s ironically refreshing to see truisms covered from time to time.
    The idea of guys abandoning their friends when a new partner comes on the scene really burns with me. It’s frustrating to see a relationSHIP become a submarine, dragging people away from surface contact for long periods of time.

    @JipJipperson

  6. Russianthunder

    every day I thank the girl (and her rejection)that got me into PuA.
    I did eventually get her, in the sack at least, and now i see what a mistake it was to even try and date her.

    it’s made me a better person, 100% (and still getting better)

  7. andydood12

    How would you introduce the cube into a conversation thread when you’re doing it to an ex-girlfriend since in theory you already know much about her personality so she could find it almost insulting that you’re trying to find out her personality through a game when you should probably already know it by then?

    1. Seiders Gary Lee

      Do you feel something just isn’t right you can’t explain it but someone is out to get you?
      You feel you are having a strange streak of bad luck?
      Everything you attempt seems to fail, for no apparent reason?
      Have you considered the possibility that someone cast a curse on YOU?
      An evil force could be responsible for your bad fortune! Don’t wait one more day and ask for the curse removal spell and protection!
      If you feel hindered by something, do not discount the fact that an evil force could be lurking in the background sabotaging everything you attempt. This evil force could be responsible for many of the failures and heartaches in your life and relationship problems and financially misfortune,hurry to DR ODUDUWA LOVE SPELL for an immediately solutions .email at [email protected]

  8. Sllik

    cheers man i really needed that….i got dumped 3 months ago and ive been fooling around but sometimes i still think of her and what-ifs…..anyway seriously much needed that.

  9. puabeliever

    I was a pua fanatic three years ago. I read everything as I progressed through the stages. Within two months I’d go out on my own – I found that whenever I brought my friends out they’d do nothing other than interfere with my game. I’d do the approach within two minutes of scoping the club, and I’d have the time of my life. Every time. I don’t want to jinx myself three years later, but when it was all over – after having met Jenny – I took pride in having never been turned away. Although I wanted to be rejected to just get that experience over with, it never happened. Maybe it’s because I was obsessed with the game and (intended to) move slow through the stages. Often, I’d find myself thinking “crap, what now? I should have read the next chapter this chick is rubbing her thighs, flipping her hair, loves my touch, etc.”

    Anyway, enough of the long winded background. Unfortunately, Jenny and I have had some rough times lately and it’s gotten ugly. I noticed in the past when we’d break up, if I didn’t contact her she’d come to me. We’re totally in love so that’s all it would take. But we break up all the time now and now I’m afraid we are getting close -if we’re not already there – to a final breakup. What I’m asking is how do I get her back in a way where she’ll see the relationship – in its healthy state – as something that she needs. See, she’s a 42 yo VP and I’m an attorney. And our breakups always stem from what I feel is her getting from me what she needs, intimacy, feeling wanted, going out. But she is, although she won’t admit it, proud of having earned her independence in life and is reluctant to give that up. Our relationship is in stuck mode and at 45, I’m looking for a partner for life.

  10. blackwolf

    Thanks for that. I especially loved the line

    “There’s too much hurt around you both to make it right. And even as you read those words you denied their truth”.

    Exactly.

  11. charmingjefferson

    Its been 5 years and I still think about her. She visits me once a month just to see how I’m doing, just this past month we were talking again and dating, but she just got over it. The calls, and visits stopped completely. I was doing such a good job in the beginning using “The Game” but than my emotions got the best of me, and I started showing her to much interest again(being clingy). I screwed up. I’m sure there is no way to recover. So I’m following your advice and loosing complete contact with her, I’m just hurting myself.

  12. lonelysmilez

    Hey Ray,

    Your article really resonates me right now. It has been 2 days and 22.75 hours since I last spoke to the gf I once had and it is difficult going through the separation period. She has tried texting me 3x to reconcile (we have reconciled multiple times before), but I do not feel like the time is right to get back together because it will be a vicious cycle (which was the case before). I know this isn’t a therapy website. Neil mentions in Rules of the Game that with the creative side, there is also a destructive side. I’m starting to realize more and more that men and women have different definitions and expectations of relationships and it really is easy for one person to fall out of love while the other person is still in love.

    I’m in the phase where I feel like a total afc who is really back at square one. I am alone and I am getting through it by myself without any distractions such as past exes or rebounds. It will take some time to rebuild my positive attitude and ultimately I feel that is attainable. Thanks for sharing your personal story and paving the way for like-minded individuals to also deal with their own relationship losses in a constructive way.

  13. jonahbty

    LAUREN
    get your ex back, restore your broken marriage.
    get healings, receive
    powers to control your future. become a mother
    those of you unable to give birth,
    your physician told you that you cannot nolonger
    give birth… sunlight
    can make you give birth to your own child. get
    your lover back to your
    arms again… sunlight mother of the world thanks
    to you queen of the universe
    jai mata durga… contact [email protected]
    become marriage you’re
    inlove with someone who doesn’t love you get the
    person now: seek for
    marriage make it happen by contacting sunlight
    the maker of impossibilities to
    possibilities the woman of solutions thanks to you
    sunlight for bringing my husband back to me i
    praise you” i love you. . .

  14. Dr akhereoboh

    This dream is the reason you are not over him yet and won’t be any time soon. Unless you let go of that, you won’t be able to truly grieve and move on. But I know it’s hard since all the signs and everyone around you is saying that it will happen. 6 months is a long time. Have you asked yourself how long are you willing to wait for him?

  15. Laura Obe

    I never know that spell caster is real, I
    thought they are fake until I met a man called Dr
    okuku my name is laura On this day i am very happy
    to tell the world that Evelyn is back to me thanks to
    Dr. okuku who use is great powers to cast a spell that
    brought Evelyn back to me within 48 hours. I really
    want to tell the world that Dr. okuku is genius and
    powerful this means that is capable to restore any
    broken relationship or marriage just within the period
    of 48 hours. And due to the fact that Dr. okuku is
    very helpful and must people will need is help to
    restore there relationship or marriage
    he is helping to fixed problems on:
    1 HIV/aids spell)
    2 Get a good job spell
    3 Getting your lover or husband back
    4 Marriage spell
    5 Love spell
    6 if you want a Child spell
    7 Production spell of films and movie
    8 Business spell.
    9 Get a good job spell
    i will write out his
    contact via email: [email protected] or
    call him or add on whatsapp or viber
    +2347063836098 Believe me Dr. okuku is the right
    person to restore your proplems just exactly the way
    you want it to be. laura obe FROM united states

  16. Chief Oduduwa

    I am Cheif Oduduwa. I can cast a spell on your behalf regarding a relationship, your financial situation, future events, or whatever is important to you. I have the power and I use the power. I can change the course of your destiny. Contact me and I shall cast a spell for you. Tell me what it is you want and I shall go about my work. Is it someone or something you desire to have? Do you want wealth, or happiness, or a mate E.T.C.
    Lost lover specialist
    1. We bring back lost lover
    2. Do you want to win your loved one
    3. We help single people to find partners
    4. Do you want to be married?
    5. Love attraction
    6. Married problems & Divorce
    8. Love portion
    9. Have a straight friend that you want? The i can help you out

    All these done in 1 – 7 Days, Privacy place strictly
    confidential Result 100% Guaranteed and i have divine powers that enable you to connect to your forefathers or ancestors to give you guidance in life and enable you to change the course of your destiny
    To inquire about my services, contact me by phone, e-mail. I will be happy to assist you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. For an immediate response please contact me by
    +918 904 191 855.
    Email: [email protected]
    Chief Oduduwa

  17. Vita Stefa

    I dated Mike over 8 years and I know he love me so much, he used to work with rules of his family I don’t no why they so much hate me and never want me to be there son wife, I has be battle with his family since I started dating Mike. A day in November 2014 to the problem Mike told me we can’t continue with the relationship because his family refused to accept me, my life was in hell when I had the statement and mike broke up our relationship ‘ truly he found another girl he was dating, and I started living in sad life seeking for help every were, and I know Mike is the man in my life and some friends told me to seek for spiritual help and I did research online and I found a Dr working in spiritual temple I emailed him and explained my problem with Mike to Dr. Laska He told me not to worry Mike family will send for me and I was waiting the day to come, 3days after Mike called me on phone and his parents are looking for me i rushed and take the next taxi, I went and met his family holding meeting when I got there they honored me and begged me for forgiveness a week after I got married to Mike. I share out my testimony for everyone having trouble marriage or relationship Dr. Laska Is there to solve you problem his email is been attached to my testimony; [email protected]

  18. Arrybo

    cool post, we all been there and like the great book says to get over one just go and fuck ten, i know it worked for me x

  19. Seiders Gary Lee

    Do you feel something just isn’t right you can’t explain it but someone is out to get you?
    You feel you are having a strange streak of bad luck?
    Everything you attempt seems to fail, for no apparent reason?
    Have you considered the possibility that someone cast a curse on YOU?
    An evil force could be responsible for your bad fortune! Don’t wait one more day and ask for the curse removal spell and protection!
    If you feel hindered by something, do not discount the fact that an evil force could be lurking in the background sabotaging everything you attempt. This evil force could be responsible for many of the failures and heartaches in your life and relationship problems and financially misfortune,hurry to DR ODUDUWA LOVE SPELL for an immediately solutions .email at [email protected]

Leave a Reply