We Attract What We Are

afrankelPublic, The Game

My best friend’s wife used to tease me that there was no way anything crazy I did was going to kill me. It was definitely going to be a woman that did me in…

One day my best friend and his wife accompanied me to look at a piece of property. It was a large property in a very central part of town. The price was extremely low, but it sat for a very long time. The reason: It was next door to a mental institution.

The friend’s wife proclaimed, “This is perfect for you, Aaron. Its a pretty wooded lot in the heart of the city. And the perfect place for you to pickup chicks is right next door!”

This was probably due to one woman in particular I dated. She openly admitted to having waking fantasies about killing me with a red pillow. Not just any red pillow. She had one all picked out.

You’d think this was a woman I had wronged in some way–nope. As a matter of fact, we were still screwing when she started making the statement.

You’d think something like that would be a big sign for me to stop having sex with her–nope. The sex was as crazy as she was. I just stopped falling asleep at her place after whatever debauchery had been accomplished. This also included keeping a mindful eye on any second girl de jour that joined us.

This was one of the more extreme examples, but not an isolated incident.

Charlie Sheen’s character on Two and a Half Men once said, “Crazy girls are THE BEST! You just have to watch their hands…”

Crazy women are fun. Crazy people are fun for that matter. They are a departure from the norm. You never know what to expect. However, if it’s all your attracting it’s time to consider the source. The same can be said about any undesirable attribute.

Some time after the girl with the red pillow, I was sitting with a group of PUA. One guy out of the blue announced that, “All women were money grubbing bitches! That’s all they cared about!” Sadly, this was not an uncommon type of comment for him to make. We’ll call him Bob.

Bob was an extreme example. However, there were plenty of other guys that, to one degree or another, seemed to endlessly attract the wrong type of women.

The interesting thing about this was: It wasn’t just the women in their lives. If you met Bob’s friends, you would notice they had all the same characteristics as the women he dated. And again, this was not isolated to Bob.

It’s because we attract what we put out into the universe. If you’re sane, crazy probably doesn’t want to hang out with you…

This isn’t to say it in a karmic new age kind of way. We can also say the vibe we give off.

Opposites may attract on occasion, but the more natural attraction is between people that are similar. For example: If someone is very high energy and someone is very low energy, they are not likely to mesh well or for very long. The low energy brings the high energy down and vice versa. These are unusual and likely uncomfortable states for the individuals. When you do see two seemingly opposing personalities together, there is a stronger bonding similarity you’ve not yet noticed bringing them together.

With the guys that put in the maturity and introspective work, things started to change. Over the years a core group of PUA saw each other go through periods of attracting better than the previous period. Eventually we were attracting some pretty amazing women–both inside and out.

There was also a new perspective with which things were viewed–doing for ourselves. For instance, guys stopped dressing for any other purpose than an expression of themselves and because they liked it. A Peacock, after all, grows his plumage for a female Peacock. He does not do it for every feathered fowl that happens by–they are of no consequence.

What this really all boils down to? Inner Game. But not in a way many are used to looking at…

Typically inner game is relegated to sorting out approach anxiety or personal feelings of worth. That work will get you better than you have gotten, but there is a plateau.

The plateau is that we only get better at approach and confidence.

If all we are meeting is crap, perhaps it’s time to ask ourselves why–rather than throwing blame externally. And as I alluded to earlier, it won’t just change the romantic interests you attract.

What was this group focusing on instead of just approach anxiety and self-confidence?

Answer: Their value.

We all started examining every aspect of our lives: the quality of work we did, how well we took care of ourselves, keeping our word, and what made us happy without harming others. The expression became, “You have to be your best to expect the best–inside and out.”

Want a woman of merit and high quality? Become a man of merit and high quality…