10 Simple Ways To Up Your Swagger

Neil StraussNeil, New Years

This New Year, I wanted to share something special with you to motivate you as you set your personal Resolution for 2013.

One of the things I have always fought against–and something that’s been borne out by research–is the idea that some people have IT and other people don’t.

IT can be whatever it is you want: whether it’s being attractive to the opposite sex, talented at a passion, artistic, entrepreneurial, happy, cool, etc.

In The Game, and also in the books I’ve done with rock stars, I’ve discussed faking it until you make it.

But I’ve recently had a realization on the idea I want to share with you: You actually have to fake it IN ORDER to make it.

In other words, at some point, even if it was at a very young age, a natural had to be an UNNATURAL first.

So you have to be willing to push through not just the pain period but the AWKWARD period in order to get so COMFORTABLE that you
everyone thinks you’re a natural. (You’ll generally be the last to realize you’ve become a natural.)

Sometimes, people look at me and say, “You’re not as bad as you described yourself in the beginning of The Game.”

And my answer is: You just didn’t know me then.

Just search “Neil Strauss and Charlie Rose” if you want to see how poorly I came off back before The Game.

Sometimes even I forget what I looked and acted like before I put so much work (and continue to) into myself.

So in order to help you make your Resolutions this year, here’s a special blast from the past.

I searched my Journal on my computer, and found list after list of rigorous self-examination that I did during The Game–of what I’m doing right, what I’m doing wrong, and what I want to change or improve.

And I thought I’d share one of those lists as inspiration for you to take a hard look at an area of your life today and to make a plan for self-improvement.

My list is brutally honest and highly embarrassing. But sometimes that’s what it takes.

So without further stalling, here’s my Resolution from my year of improving the way I PRESENT myself:

RESOLUTION: Put (natural) effort, energy, thoughtfulness, and grace into everything I do.


  • Shower and shave daily (including head)
  • Always look my best
  • Pay attention to details (nails, unwanted hairs)


  • Head aligned with spine
  • Lengthen and widen
  • Shoulders back and dropped, free of tension
  • Try pushing lower jaw out a little more
  • Chest out (rib lifts)
  • Sit straight in chairs, with tailbone on seat and feet flat on floor


  • Slow Down
  • Enunciate
  • Avoid Pausers
  • Deepen voice and add resonance


  • Work out three to four times a week
  • Surf two times a week


  • Bigger box: Take up more space with body language
  • Swing arms
  • Walk in a straight line, with waist swagger
  • No nervous laughter or breaking eye contact first


  • Go to grocery store weekly
  • Make breakfast every morning
  • Eat high-protein lunch
  • Make protein shakes
  • Consider Creatine
  • Drink more water (no sodas)

Take a full, aware breath, down through my body, and exhale all my air


  • Keep house clean
  • Put away things immediately after using them
  • Create a warm, comfortable space for myself and others


  • Do not be afraid to look like somebody instead of trying to look
  • like everybody else.
  • Develop a cleaner, suaver, more distinct style of dressing and
  • stick to it. (Most likely very stylish and well-tailored
  • suits/jackets, mixed with shaved head, subtle makeup, and
  • piercings.)
  • Emanate power, style, cleanliness, and comfort with self.
  • Keep clothes clean and pressed always.


  • Do NOT put off tasks that I do not want to do or fear doing. Take
  • care of the most important and intimidating tasks FIRST.
  • No teeth grinding
  • Cultivate the friendships with powerful figures that I’ve let slide
  • due to my own fears of not being adequate.


  • Guilt
  • Fear
  • Masturbation
  • Self-Doubt
  • Nervousness
  • Procrastination
  • Entropy problems

It’s interesting to look at this list now, and see what I’ve accomplished–and I still have to improve (and what maybe I don’t want to do anymore).

It’s also embarrassing to share. But the reason I’m sharing it is to encourage you to take a hard, detailed look at your life today,
and focus on everything you need to work on to become your best self.

As for 2013, my first resolution: To finish the three books on my plate. The last two years of my life have probably been the biggest
transformation I’ve ever had, and I’m excited to give you the story and the blueprint in the next book–and start sharing some of the crazy adventures (and misadventures) I’ve been holding back here.

Don’t want to ruin the surprise!

Good luck. And here’s to a great 2013 full of more good and well-deserved surprises for all of you!

Share your resolutions in the comments below.